u/Silly_Strom

As the title says, I made the girl I was dating cry, unintentionally. We are not dating anymore, but it still is killing me inside. I phase out every day sometimes even tear up picturing her face after I said those words.

For context, I met this girl, around 3 months ago and we hit it off right away. She has past trauma and a sickness which I am not disclosing. I kissed her knowing she has that sickness, my first kiss. She was very open to me about it from the start, I was fine with it actually. I still wanted to date her, I didn't want some sickness to stop us from getting together. Well, it's easy to think this way but can be very taunting to go through with sometimes. She initially didn't want to date me, due to her trainer, though she liked me. But she herself suggested us dating. First date was amazing though we were technically already dating as friends.

The second date, we were cuddling and I was telling her how much I like her, maybe even love her. After 5-6 hrs of cuddling and playing around, I uttered some stupid words. I said "I want a normal life and I want kids", which I meant, and I didn't think her sickness would be stop us from having it either. I meant it in a way that I just want a chill and family oriented life, but she took it the wrong way and that I was implying something about her sickness. She teared up right away and didn't cry in front of me. But I know she cried after getting home.

I feel awful, she trusted me and chose me against all the odds, and said I would understand her. I am a fucking piece of shit, for breaking her trust. I feel less of a man for making a girl cry. Giving her so much hope and breaking it just in our second date, though I totally didn't mean it and would have spent the rest of my life with her condition happily.

I told her what my words trule meant, but it was too late, damage was already dealt and there is no taking back. We didn't break up over that, we lasted for 1.5 more months, but I knew it was over once those words came out of my mouth. I miss her and there is no way I can have her.

I am a shitty person. I will never ever break the heart of someone close to me.

I am 25M, a total beginner in violin. I tried learning violin last year at a music school but it was way too expensive, so I gave up. I want to pick it up again and looking for friendly instructors to teach me. I am willing to pay what I can but I want consistent tutoring.

I can rent my own violin, please DM me or respond in this thread if you are interested in teaching me.

I (25M) have been looking forward for summer for a very long time, I don't wanna stay home after work or on weekends, I wanna do a lot of activities, play sports, hang out with people, have fun!!

But Vancouver people has been very judgemental, make fake promises, being flaky, don't show up for plans, and not even make proper eye contact while talking.

I wanna make some close friends that I can hang out with every week and do fun stuff. I want friends whom I can share joy and sorrow with. I am down for basically anything, sports, movies, hikes, walks, coffee, reading, drawing etc. I will do it with you even though I suck at it, just to have fun.

I am easy going and get along with anyone, any gender, any age. Hit me up so we can chat and eventually meet!

I was broken up a couple of days ago. I can't think of anything else but her. She did it via text, I asked if we could atleast call but she said no.

The break up is all her btw, so I can't even be mad at myself. I can never hate her eithet. I asked if we can be friends, but she said no. I said ok and wished her good luck.

But the guilt is eating me alive from the inside. I wanna ask her if we can have a second try, I wanna beg her to stay, I want to ask her if I didn't even deserve a call, I just miss her so much.

But I know I can't change a thing. Still, I am so tempted to message her and say I miss her. Should I?

I did everything I could and yet she decided to cut me off. I have never bonded with anyone at this level before. I am so sad and lonely now, worst part is I can't even hate her. It a sunny day outside, I don't even feel like stepping outside, I cant sleep, I can't do anything atm. I feel very lonely. She was my first everything (still virgin), I loved her so much and now she is gone.
She is very fragile and has gone through a lot of trauma. But she never appreciated me for being there and putting in effort for her.
Can someone please provide me some encouragement, I really need it. I am devastated. I can't help but cry.

We have known each other only for 3 months, I have not met anyone like her. I have not dated before, she was my first date and my first kiss. And thats how far we have gone. She has trauma from her previous relationships. One hurt her physically one hurt her mentally.

We started liking each other pretty soon, within days. I asked her out, she denied at first, saying she doesn't want to date anyone citing the trauma, then when I asked for a break from her, within 2 days she came back saying she wants to give it a try. We give it a try, she breaks up with me within 1 week. She said I was not trying (I made my time to meet her 4 times in that week, bought flowers, complimented her, paid for her, pretty much most you can do in a week). After she broke up, I told her how much she meant to me along a lot of things, then she said, let's be friends now and we can date again.

We tried being friends, actually, we flirted a lot still, but no physical touch or deep talks. Hey birthday was 2 weeks ago. She said she was not celebrating her birthday, and sounded sad about it. I tried my best to cheer her up on her birthday (arranged flowers saying happy birthday, cake, handmade card, handmade website), though she thanked me and called me sweet, she never smiled once, or said anything like how much it meant to her. She even said she will sleep over, as friends, but then had to leave to aid her unwell sister.

She has been very fond of me and very caring the past few weeks, but her dull reaction on her bday just broke me. I was sad and mad. I asked her to cut me off if she doesn't intend to date me and now she has cut me off, she doesnt want to be friends anymore either.

I am not sure if you readers can understand my situation as I am not telling how deeply we bonded in this post, which only I can understand, hopefully she feels that way too.

But she just doesn't want to date anyone. She is traumatized by her past, I really don't mind her past, I wanna be there for her and cheer her up. Show that not all men are bad. But I don't think I was able to convince her. This is so unfair, why should I pay for what those mfs did.

She was my soulmate, I am devastated, I don't know if I can find anyone like her or even find anyone at all. I am so confused, I didn't do anything wrong, I don't deserve this. I was a bit clingy yes, but not too bad. I regret telling her to cut me off if she doesn't intend to date me.

My mind is so blank, I want her back in my life, atleast as a friend for now. Though it's been only 3 months, I forgot how my life felt like before I met her. Everything feels numb now. I don't know what to do. Can someone please provide me some advice.