I’m GNC/Agender, I don’t see myself as female, but I have a v large bust and am plus sized.
I actually became obese partly through eating as a desperate attempt to de-sexualize my body post sexual trauma. I find the male gaze so difficult to deal with I barely leave the house (I go out only to medical appointments usually).
Since childhood I’ve dressed in the most ungendered clothes I can (jeans/band t shirts and flannels mostly). My body’s still read as female by everyone I encounter because of my chest. I’ve tried thousands of dollars worth of bras and binders, but a spinal deformity and chronic pain have meant binders are hell to wear. When I was thinner still had a very oversized bust and got endless unwanted sexual looks and comments over it.
Although I very much want top surgery and have for several decades, surgery is not an option due to multiple disabilities and health conditions having to take priority and making top surgery prohibitively expensive and too risky.
When searching for fashion options to try and feel more comfortable out in the world I’ve looked for plus size androgyny, plus size transmasc fashion, plus sized butch, plus sized gnc or nb fashion etc. what I’ve found tends to be like the image attached to this post - very cute outfits that are in no way androgynous and still draw attention to the model’s curves.
Does anyone have suggestions for styles that would help hide my chest, detract attention from my perceived female-ness and help me perceived more as a ‘human’ as opposed to a man/woman by others? How others perceive me doesn’t match at all with how I perceive myself and I’d like to try and see if I can present in a way that is perceived as more genderless than either male or female.
TLDR: the image isn’t genderless enough for my tastes, what can I do as an NB AFaB with a big bust to de-gender the way people perceive me?
Thanks so much.