u/Royal-Vegetable-2473

I think I started my spiritual awakening and I feel extremely scared like I’ve never been before.

I feel like I can’t trust myself and my mind because I have a LOT of mental health issues and I don’t want to take SSRI (is it impossible to get better without antidepressants?)

I feel alone and I don’t know what to do. What scares me is the fact that I can’t simply go to a doctor or a coach, nobody knows the truth about our world, life and the universe. There’s no one who can help me or who I can turn to.

I’ve questioned so many spiritual coaches, mediums, tarot readers through the past years and they all give me different perspectives and say different things.

My main issue with connecting with myself is that my mind is never quiet and I slip away even by reading or meditating. Yesterday I was reading a book and I slipped away so many times and had to force myself to concentrate. Does it get better? (I suffer from maladaptive daydreaming)

(Also is it okay to read books? If no one really knows “the truth” about the universe.)

Every religion, spiritual group, etc has their own rules and systems, something that confuses me is how some psychics and mediums manage to predict specific things before they happen even when it comes to other people’s lives. I also get so confused because some spiritual people believe in chakras, karma, reincarnation…. Others believe in witchcraft and tarot. Aren’t these all made up concepts by humans too? Same as religion.

I’m also a bit afraid due do religious trauma, I feel like all of us are god together but then christians say I will go to hell because god made us after his image but we are not him.

Idk if I explained myself well but I want to know if what I’m experiencing is normal? The possibility of the egg theory being real and me being the only conscious/interacting with myself in everything scares me a lot. I love my parents so much and I can’t imagine thinking they are only temporary to this lifetime or are not even real.

I’m 19 so I guess I’m young but I’m tired of wasting my time and I want to change… however sometimes I also feel like this path is scary and I consider staying the matrix 😢

Another question: do you think the government wants to keep us stuck in this cycle and knows the truth?

Hi! I’m a F19, sorry if this post is weird =(

I think I’m going through a spiritual awakening. I’m so lost and don’t know where to turn. Could Ayahuasca help?

I dealt with depression when I was 16 and took sertraline for 2 years until I stopped. My mental health got bad again and I live in anger and guilt and regret.

I’ve developed very unhealthy coping mechanisms since I was a child and suffer from very addictive daydreaming. I’m afraid of being beyond help. I’m mostly scrolling through social media and bedrotting, I want to change but I want to know if anyone can give me advice on antidepressants and possible treatments.

I’m kind of afraid of going to therapy and taking meds because of the secondary effects they give, especially acathasia. I always thought the Illuminati and darker side of the elites was conspiracy but since the files came out and all the info on the news I’ve been questioning a lot of things in our society and government and I kind of don’t know what to trust.

I’m so afraid of the alleged surveillance, I came across a lot of conspiracy rabbit holes and I’m really scared because I feel alone in these thoughts, always losing sleep. My family is very far from awaken and kind of stuck in the matrix, all about work, christianity and gaining money. I would sound crazy if I talked to them about this. I’m having major trust issues with fast food, suncreams, skin products and medication now.

I grew up in a christian household but I stopped praying years ago. How can I be sure religion isn’t made up by mankind? Sometimes I even forgot god existed and now idk what to think anymore, I’m afraid of it actually being true and me going against it, I want to save my soul.

What scares me is thinking there is no god to look up to or to protect us, we have to take the matter into our own hands.

The truth is nobody knows the absolute truth and I feel so conflicted, it terrifies me. I want to explore spirituality and the occult but Christians keep saying that is dangerous and I don’t want to mess with the wrong stuff and energies since I already had a bad experience.

(Don’t be mad at me please but I ordered a love spell with blood magic once in my life and paid to get it taken down) to this day I still don’t know how my energy is regarding that because my country does not offer many spiritual treatments and I don’t know who to turn to: reiki, spirituality, Wicca, etc.

(Especially because what I had done was using Brazilian magic so this is specific I guess.)

I’m not a psychic or medium so I can’t mess with energies myself….

I’m also afraid of falling for a big scam again because the two warlocks I went to both said different things.

I’m not sure whether to believe in the kundalini, in spirituality, hinduism, occultism… it’s very confusing for me. I came across this sub and it took a weight out of my chest reading some of the confessions here. It feels really good knowing I am not alone in this and more people have awakened 😊

I want to do shadow work but I’m kind of afraid of facing my darkest side. If I have so many mental health issues what happens when I start going through the process? I’m also terrified of the person finding out what I did since I’m a stranger to him.

I lost a lot of money with that scam and almost ended my life because of it, I think this helped me realize money is a disease.

About this drink “Ayahuasca” I’m not sure I’d be willing to take it, I heard bad reports of manic depression after. Maybe in the future when I’m better mentally. Are there other plant medicine or herbs safer?

Just to be clear I have: ocd, bpd, adhd, and dissassociate a lot due to maladaptive daydreaming which causes me to feel despersonalization/derealism from my body.

I feel like there is no solution.

The biggest issue for me is that I wanted to “fix” this before I started mindfulness and meditation, my mind is always loud and thinking, I’m afraid I would not be able to meditate. I spent the last year at home barely leaving, would it do me better to connect with nature without my cellphone and social media?

I’m very afraid of a coach or a spiritual guide taking advantage of my state to get money :(

Sorry for all these questions 🥹

If you read this thank you 🙏💕