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u/Responsible_Pea3711

▲ 2 r/Situationships

I know I should step back BUT

I know I should probably step back, but

I’ve known this guy for over a year through mutual friends. We got close over time and had phases where we talked almost every day. He has always been honest that he isn’t fully over his past relationships and isn’t in a place to commit, so I’ve accepted that and never expected anything more from him.

Our contact has been on and off for a while now. Sometimes we’ll talk normally, share reels, have easy conversations, and then he’ll pull back for some time.

I recently deactivated Instagram for few days because the inconsistency was affecting me. I reactivated it last night, replied to an old message, and we started talking again like normal.

Then today, while we were chatting, he suddenly came across his ex’s newlywed couple account (he didn’t know it existed) and sent it to me saying, “Instagram just killed me.”

I comforted him as best as I could, and then he went offline.

The thing is, I genuinely care about him as a person. At this point, it’s not even about wanting him to choose me or hoping for something romantic. I just hate seeing someone I care about hurting like that, and if he trusts me enough to share that pain, part of me wants to simply be there for him as a friend.

But I’m also wondering if that’s a bad idea. Am I being a good friend, or am I putting myself in a position where I’ll eventually get hurt by caring too much for someone who’s still emotionally tied to their past?

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u/Responsible_Pea3711 — 19 hours ago
▲ 17 r/IndianRelationships+1 crossposts

Need honest opinion Am I making excuses for him because I don’t want to let go?

I (24F) known this guy (29M) for over a year through mutual friends in an arranged marriage setup. We started talking on Instagram, then WhatsApp, and for a while we talked almost every day about life, opinions, our days, everything. I genuinely felt like there was potential and got attached.

Early on, he told me he’d had two serious past relationships and didn’t think he had fully moved on from either. He was always honest about that. Things were on-and-off, but whenever we got close, he would pull back.

In November, he told me he didn’t want to “keep me hooked,” that he couldn’t commit or think about marriage right now, and even though he had thought about us together, he just couldn’t picture it. That hurts him, but I appreciated the honesty.

Since then, he still occasionally reaches out (shares reels, replies to stories, starts conversations) but then pulls away again. It’s confusing because I know he still talks to other girls in arranged-marriage settings, yet says he isn’t ready for marriage.

Part of me feels he’s genuinely stuck in his past and emotionally confused. Another part wonders if he just doesn’t like me enough and I’m over-explaining his behavior because I care.

I care about him deeply and want him happy, even if it’s not with me, but this inconsistency is exhausting. I recently deactivated Instagram because I was tired of anxiously waiting for his messages.

Am I being too understanding here? or am I reading too much into mixed signals and should just let this go? Help me out with this been stuck for forever

u/Responsible_Pea3711 — 4 days ago