u/ProfessorLantern190

Venting a little here. Was going to post on here for some help, but my post needed to be checked by the moderators (respect). I decided to post it to another subreddit just because “why not?” I thought.

Maybe it was the way I phrased things. I got a lot of really good advice, both that I wanted to hear and didn’t. I took what worked for me.

But there was this energy from some of the people. Like I was stupid and/or pitiful and that the answer was so simple. “Just close the relationship”.

Honestly a lot of people who said that gave valid advice, this is new for me and I’m getting used to it and shouldn’t completely dismiss the idea that maybe this isn’t for me.

But even the most bone-headed reply was supported and my retort (I was stupid to engage in the first place) disliked. Dude literally was laughing at me while giving the most generic advice and people preferred that over me telling him he’s not as big of a boy as he thinks he is (not my actual reply).

Again it may just be me, but it made me curious so here I am asking. I should know what I’m getting into.

Both my partner (18 F) and I (23 M) have pretty high libidos and we have sex pretty often. It’s really nice and she makes me feel seen in that way which feels really rare for me (besides her I have had sex one other time with one other person which was before our relationship began).

But for some reason I can’t shake my feelings of sexual inferiority. My body can be temperamental when we are being intimate and I semi-often feel disappointed by my performance even though she always objects to my doubts.

I hate to say it, but these doubts are exasperated by my imagination where I see the women I love getting…well…the best sex of her life by *insert big sexy man here* and being satisfied in a way some part of me insults me by saying it’s so much better then sex with me. I’m happy that she is having fun, I just want to convince myself to finally be happy with myself sexually as opposed to feeling inferior to everything and everyone no matter the type of relationship or my relationship status. I completely respect being into being a cuck, but that is something I’m absolutely not into and part of me always fears that I am destined to be one despite knowing my partner loves me and my body so much in an emotional and purely sexual way (none of this is about her, she’s the best).

Considering this is my first open relationship how did you all handle this and (should you have desired it) finally started seeing yourself as sexually adequate?

TL;DR: I think I’m terrible at sex and that my partner’s other sexual partners will all be better than me no matter what despite her insisting otherwise. How do I combat this?

This is my first open relationship. I (23 M) met my girlfriend (18 F) about three months ago and have been dating about as long. I really really like her a lot and I can’t wait to spend what I really hope to be a nice long and healthy relationship with her. We had discussed having an open relationship as she is very protective of her freedom and does not desire limitations. After some thought I agreed not thinking that I would be swimming in women, but that we would both be comfortable this way and we could be together. She has recently been visiting another guy and while it hasn’t always been easy, things have been going as intended.

Yesterday though she shared some details about her latest visit and I just couldn’t say I was a fan. I quickly felt emasculated, lonely, and sad especially because we were not going to be intimate that day because of their intimacy. I said some passive aggressive things which lead to a conversation and now I (deservingly) feel like a jerk and a loser.

I’ve gone back and forth about whether I want to hear the details or not and now it looks like there will be no details shared. This makes me sad though because I don’t want to just be ok with this I want to feel like a part of it and I am way too anxious to be into the idea of shooting my shot with potential flings so it’s really just through her. I want us to talk about our successes and I want this to not be a big deal for me like it’s not for her.

Is it wrong that I need more time to be ok hearing details? Furthermore how do I get over this? I have felt sexually stunted my whole life and I hate what this insecurity causes me to do sometimes. Honestly I don’t think our age gap helps with my insecurity either. I’ve weighed my options and I really don’t want to split from her and I really don’t want to lose her.