My son came out trans to us. No problem there. However, my parents found out before we had a chance to tell them in a controlled way, they were "surprised", and reacted badly. When confronted about their reaction it has become a circle of, "We were surprised and wish we knew sooner." and me responding with, "You don't get to decide when and how you find out, we were waiting for the right time, as we had only recently found out and are new to parenting a transchild. We knew you would be worried and have questions and we wanted to be prepared." To that effect, that cycle has repeated more times than I can count. I get frustrated, because during me explaining various aspects, I get interrupted by gaslighting, denial, and deflection. This as been an issue for a month or so. I texted an apology after a major fight at the start of this for how I reacted and got explosively angry. We just made contact again last night, and the cycle started again. And ended explosively. This morning I get an email with a link to a google AI question and response. They asked, "is it appropriate for my son to tell us without warning that our 11 year old granddaughter want to be a trans boy". And the response from the AI: "Coming out as transgender is a significant, often long-contemplated process for a child, and telling family members "without warning" is common because the person often waits until they feel secure enough to share. While this may feel abrupt to you, experts indicate that it is a moment requiring trust and a desire for family involvement, rather than a reflection of disrespect." So AI responds with virtually the same response I have been giving this whole time. Am I insane for feeling maddeningly frustrated? I mean they claimed to "get it" after asking AI but not listening to me? Then proceeding to say, "you didn't say that to me, you yelled it." And then I respond with, "I didn't start yelling until you started talking in circles." And then saying, "You care more about the tone, than the words I said." Please help. I am alone here and feel like I am going crazy.
u/Pretend_Wash3977
If there is another group for this question, please point me to it. My son came out trans to us. No problem there. However, my parents found out before we had a chance to tell them in a controlled way, they were "surprised", and reacted badly. When confronted about their reaction it has become a circle of, "We were surprised and wish we knew sooner." and me responding with, "You don't get to decide when and how you find out, we were waiting for the right time, as we had only recently found out and are new to parenting a transchild. We knew you would be worried and have questions and we wanted to be prepared." To that effect, that cycle has repeated more times than I can count. I get frustrated, because during me explaining various aspects, I get interrupted by gaslighting, denial, and deflection. This as been an issue for a month or so. I texted an apology after a major fight at the start of this for how I reacted and got explosively angry. We just made contact again last night, and the cycle started again. And ended explosively. This morning I get an email with a link to a google AI question and response. They asked, "is it appropriate for my son to tell us without warning that our 11 year old granddaughter want to be a trans boy". And the response from the AI: "Coming out as transgender is a significant, often long-contemplated process for a child, and telling family members "without warning" is common because the person often waits until they feel secure enough to share. While this may feel abrupt to you, experts indicate that it is a moment requiring trust and a desire for family involvement, rather than a reflection of disrespect." So AI responds with virtually the same response I have been giving this whole time. Am I insane for feeling maddeningly frustrated? I mean they claimed to "get it" after asking AI but not listening to me? Then proceeding to say, "you didn't say that to me, you yelled it." And then I respond with, "I didn't start yelling until you started talking in circles." And then saying, "You care more about the tone, than the words I said." Please help. I am alone here and feel like I am going crazy.