u/Prestigious_Crab1405

Hi guys, black sheep of family here. Guess what happened? I left covert narccisist 2 months ago and have been living in shared rental. However I am blacksheep so boundaries have been created on with my parents for like a year now… processing that and trying to feel stable as I can.

My parents went to my ex to find out my new adress to see if I was okay….. my mum didn’t come to me to ask for my new adress. The last message was I would get back to her when I was ready to talk but thanks for reaching out and it ended good the conversation because I said I’m happy to reach out when I want to.

My dad rocked UP to my house with my mum waiting in the car this morning. I am in a vunerable state and HAD no option what’s so ever to stop the tears running down my face!! I had to tell him what was up and he was respectful and my mum was too. They were “caring” and said they really want to help and I have a place to live ect and they want to help in anyway way shape of form… i am struggling financially but actually can get a shared house if I want to and that’s what I said I’ll do and get back to them if I need a place to stay or need help moving

Hi guys, black sheep of family here. Guess what happened? I left covert narccisist 2 months ago and have been living in shared rental. However I am blacksheep so boundaries have been created on with my parents for like a year now… processing that and trying to feel stable as I can.

My parents went to my ex to find out my new adress to see if I was okay….. my mum didn’t come to me to ask for my new adress. The last message was I would get back to her when I was ready to talk but thanks for reaching out and it ended good the conversation because I said I’m happy to reach out when I want to.

My dad rocked UP to my house with my mum waiting in the car this morning. I am in a vunerable state and HAD no option what’s so ever to stop the tears running down my face!! I had to tell him what was up and he was respectful and my mum was too. They were “caring” and said they really want to help and I have a place to live ect and they want to help in anyway way shape of form… i am struggling financially but actually can get a shared house if I want to and that’s what I said I’ll do and get back to them if I need a place to stay or need help moving furniture.

What do you guys think about the breach of privacy of them literally going to my ex for the address and not me? If they truely cared wouldn’t they ask me for the address? They actually said they were worried about my safety and just rewlly wanted to know if I was ok

I guess my question is was there intention this? Do they generally care in the way they know how? Is this malicious?

I ended up messaging her when they left I would of appreciated you came to me but I appreciate the check in still. And said it did make me more upset how you went to my ex when I told him he wasn’t nice before then.

Could they still have wanted the best for me even though they suck at boundaries?

Is it good of what I said? I didn’t appreciate it entirely as I was in a vunerable state to speak and it made me feel like I had no boundaries in the moment!!!!!!

It’s been about 2 months since I’ve left covert narcissist! Throughout my experience with them for 3 and a half years I developed high cortisol and infact dysautonomia! Anyway. I’m still numb and haven’t felt much emotion but Oh my the cortisol hasn’t seem to have improved! I have abit of insulin resistance (rashes in inner thigh area are starting to go) yay but I am putting on weight again and the acne is insane!!!! I never got acne during relationship… actually always had really clear skin? I’m just wondering am I ever going to loose this weight!!! Is it because I’m still in flight or flight mode? I also have insomnia that’s only just started and joint pain!!
But randomly I’ve had the best days of NO issues I feel light as ever and I’m actually quite thin lol!!!!!
Just wanting reassurance this is normal process and that I won’t have these issues forever 🫠🫠🫠

Chronic fatigue, joint pain, weight gain, skin issues are all normal before feeling normal? I am naturally a small petite person and I really don’t feel great with this added on weight and makes me feel worse and yucky. Oh wait I also have pimples in my hair!!! Wtf!

Any reassurance and advice is great!! Sorry if this seems ridiculous I just feel like sometimes I need ti know if this is normal so I can just have more compassion for myself then caring how I look.

I am in a stressful and overwhelming state and I’m worried I haven’t even got to that part yet. Obviously from my previous posts I have left covert narccisist and I am doing okay in that regard as my emotions haven’t hit yet just taking it easy. However I live in a shared household and not working at the moment as I’ve needed time to recover. I am financially starting to get stessed but not only that I am really struggling with so much time off (from narcissist abuse health issues were insane) but getting help from my parents (as in me not asking them for help) even though I know they are there for me practically. I am also black sheep and they are narcissists and I’m also going through the healing journey on my own. I am also wanting to move out again due to not loving the person who I am renting with. (Too nosey)

I think the point of this post is just wanting to express how I want my parents help but will regret it. I can’t even ask for them to look after furniture for me even though all these little things could help me and take weight off. But won’t this be seen as emotional leverage to them? They know I have boundaries but it would just be ruined?

Half of me just wants to pull the plug and say I need help and I need to come back home. The other half of me is like if you don’t go to them you won’t regret anything. I’m just really exhausted and it doesn’t seem okay feeling so alone! Emotionally I know what to do but these practical things could really take the ease off.

Not sure if this posts makes sense but maybe looking at my other posts it might

Thanks so much

So long story short i am black sheep of family… I have boundaries in place with family not necessarily no contact but I don’t talk to them as much anymore. I have to stay the distance as golden child (older sister) doesn’t support me as much as I support her. (Consciously she might not know this)

Anyway she still invites me to things when it suits her and isn’t a mean person however we all know the dynamic of parents being narcissistic, golden child (me black sheep) younger sister peace keeper… (don’t like the labels but to help understand dynamic)

She has asked me to meet up with her in next few weekends as she wants me to be apart of her WEDDING day. Next year in June. However currently navigating a turbulent time with having no emotional support from them and heart broken of all the grief thats happening in the family.

Would it be okay to say no and not to go? It’s a year away I’m not sure what to do in this position. I’m not even sure if I want them in my life anymore I don’t feel safe around them. But am I awful?

Any suggestions please