u/PleaseBeNiceToMeGuys

English is my third language and I’m still not that fluent yet, so I may not be able to express myself that well but I hope you’re open enough to try to understand… any rude comment won’t be tolerated.

I’m not much of a identity label user but I try to learn and understand them, so you could say: I am a cis lesbian who has been under the trans umbrella as an NB (more of an agender identity) but I still align with being a ‘woman’ and am more of a ‘femme’ so I prefer using the term cis more anyway. And I think I fall under the aroace umbrella too.

I want to date someone who I share EXACT identities and experiences with. Gender identity, biological sex, sexuality, romantic and sexual preferences, religious beliefs, moral values, political views, and even some harmless choices in some cases too like I wouldn’t date someone who hates the colour green 😭
And for this reason, many queers attack me and others like me calling us transphobic and biphobic and whatnot.

I’m all about supporting others’ identities, experiences, and rights in these cases. I understand their struggles and preferences too. I can be good friends with others but can not date them because I am not attracted to anyone who’s not like me...
Yes, I do have genital preferences that I won’t even use any sex-toys that I’m not comfortable with or literally feel repulsed to. And I have biological sex and sexuality preferences too that I want to date a Cis AFAB Lesbian solely because that’s who I am. It’s that simple. I canNOT help my natural desires and attraction.
If I were anythingphobic then I wouldn’t be supportive or even befriend them. I can never make some people understand that having DATING preferences and desires ≠ being a bigot or hater of anything or anyone 😭
Just because you’re a sapphic doesn’t mean I HAVE TO date you or feel attracted to you.

And if they add any “I won’t date someone like you” or “Nobody is gonna date you” ahh line after all that hate and force — I’m also not gonna date you like duh? We don’t align at all? 😭 and I can live alone too if I don’t find someone, and that’s why I have this sort of strict choices… Im not dependent on having a relationship. I have a whole life outside of it too.

Also, ntm how everytime I ever use the terms cis and lesbian just to talk about myself and my own fucking life anywhere online — some people always have to come with their whataboutism and blames like IT’S ABOUT ME FOR ONCE! Not everything is about YOU or OTHERS!!
I’m sorry but I don’t feel like being THAT inclusive all the time. Sometimes I just want to talk about myself to people who are exactly like me.

And funny how many don’t even read the whole thing properly; and even if they do, they still miss the nuances…
I still love and support my fellows in the community. I know it’s not all… there are still some people out there who aren’t like that. (Especially the pansexuals honestly. Shocking how I’ve almost never met any pansexual person who ever was unkind or rude or anything like that… in the online spaces the aroaces and pans are probably the best ones I’ve ever encountered with lol)

I believe we all should mind our own businesses a bit more in these harmless cases. Especially if we can’t be bothered to understand and be kind. And we all deserve inclusive AND exclusive spaces both where we can be and talk about ourselves freely without any illogical assumptions and judgements, please.
Tbh it’s kinda getting annoying and hurtful to be in this community because we don’t feel welcome even by our “own people” just because we don’t want to date someone who they want us to date when we aren’t even hating or harming anyone. And I think it’s mostly like this online because of the keyboard warriors, but yeah…

I probably am gonna get backlash again, but I still can’t help it that I don’t want to date someone who’s not like me. Go ahead, call me all you want…

[I may have missed some points while venting because I was more focused on translating lol but I hope the right ones get it :) ]

I’m a beginner. I never saw any setting like that like the one there is in Lichess. I love it so much. I wonder whether I could at least turn the chat feature off even if I can’t hide every info like elo and all while playing…?

Does any of you also like zen mode?

Is there anyone here like me? How do you deal with your hyperhidrosis? Especially in this type of works where you have to hold paper-like stuff for a long period of time.
I have many other hobbies and I struggle in almost everything where my hands are getting used. But like I don’t think there’s anything where I hold paper-like things for this long that the sweat from my palms can/is going to destroy them. So any advice?

Despite of one’s beliefs, is it possible to do it? If yes, then how and why does it work? I mean, how and why exactly does meditation work this way? I’ve heard about some monks who have died in their deep meditative states, that’s why I’m curious. The idea of death feels so gentle to me.

I want to read some canon books but I only know about Tripitaka. Could someone kindly guide me?

I was born in a Hindu (not extremist) family, but I’ve been an atheist for like over a decade; now I’m 20 y/o. In my mid-late teenage years, I’ve been spiritual for 2–3 years; I still carry the essence of it, but just in a slightly different way. To me, the core of my spirituality is mostly about building and maintaining a healthy connection with myself and nature. I feel like I already have built the foundation for a stable and safe home within…

But I still have some questions and heaviness… like I’m almost considering becoming a nun. But i understand how deep of commitment you need for that so I take that very seriously, and that’s why I want to talk to a nun or a monk in real life…

Until I get to visit a monastery here — it’d be very helpful if I could read some books to know more about the Buddhist philosophies, history, and more…

I live in India, in the Himalayan foothills, close to Nepal and Bhutan. Adding this information because I’m not sure whether my geographical location would matter in starting the journey :) I guess I learned somewhere there are different parts (I don’t know what term to use, sorry, English is my 3rd language and I’m still not that fluent yet) of Buddhism in different places(?), and also, I’d love to know whether there’s anyone here in this subreddit from East Nepal or South Bhutan or North Bengal/Assam :)

Kindly help a curious learner. Thank you!

P.S.: Initially I mentioned ‘canon’ because I sort of want to start with them :) but any recommendation would be appreciated.