u/PicklesAndCoorslight

I am a late Gen Xer but was a young mother. I was divorced by 23 years old, ex-husband shortly after got ill and unable to provide, I put myself through college on my own dime all while raising a child. It was exhausting as even in college I was working and taking care of an infant and paying for childcare (though I did get help and lived with my mom for a few years). After I graduated, I ended up getting a good job but it was constant on the move, running from my job to help my child, getting dinner ready, etc (I moved out after I graduated because my parents needed space). My mom got ill in my late thirties and my early forties was even harder - a teenager/young adult at home but also staying nights and days between work to help with my mom.

After my daughter went off to college I had a boyfriend move in a year later. It was fine for a while but I often felt obligated to give him attention I didn't really have left at the end of the day. When my daughter came home from college, he ended up renting a room from a friend instead but he still stays here most nights. I think he was pretty much just annoyed with my child being home, but whatever, her house too.

The issue I'm having is, I am pooped at the end of the day. If I'm not paying attention, he feels insulted. He constantly wants to have dinners together, but I don't really like to do that. I like getting things like shrimp out of the freezer and making a quesadilla with it. Or, I'll order a door dash from a nice place and eat it three nights in a row. I want to come home and play a video game or something. He's very social and outgoing and can spend hours an evening socializing with friends and then come to my place and want to talk it up some more. Also, since it's my house there is a lot of overhead cleaning figuring out the mortgage, etc.

Does anybody have the type of relationship where they feel perfectly free to come home and make what they want for dinner without planning? Possibly play a game? Not feel obligated to spend the evening talking?

It's a huge bag and everyone keeps asking what I'm going to do with it and I tell them it has its use. I figure that I'm my own old lady and it's not of their business. But what I truly plan on doing is making friends with one of the many ravens that are all over my neighborhood. It's like a childhood shenanigan, but I'm going for it. I won't tell folks because I think it makes me sound weird, but that's what I'm doing.

I am a single mother. My mother had lengthy battle with Altheimer's, and I moved close to them for both me and my father's wellbeing. During the last 5 years of her life I was there a lot, often spending ~5 hours on weekends and stopping by several days after work. There were also times where I was her sole caregiver while my father was gone. I would pretty much sleep on a cot in her bedroom during the night and go to work during the day when daily help arrived. This was usually a week or so at a time but when my father had an emergency it was 3 months.

At the time I didn't think much of it, it's just what needs to happen and he needs a break. I love my mom. Also, they helped when my daughter was young.

Within 8 months of her death he remarried a woman he had known from the past. My father had real estates of about 3 million, and 800k in account, both trust accounts with mothers name also. He also gets 180k in pension and benefits a year. He sold his real estate and bought a new 2 million dollar home with her and ended up spending the 800k account on upgrading the house going on cruises with her, etc. The new trust also states that all money goes to his new wife when he passes and anything left over after her death will then be divided between his and her kids. She had 400k in assets. I don't think he has any savings at all left, all is spent except for the house.

My brother and I are SOOO offended. All he talks about is his new wife and how great she is. I have nightmares now about this, and about how I think he mistreated my mom. I have dreams of her still being alive and him with this other woman. My brothers are over it, I have been being nice but wondering now if being nice is just not worth it, when I am holding back anger. Is this relationship worth it anymore?

TL;DR My mother died after lengthy battle with Altheimer's of which I was around for to help out, my father remarried months later and turned in all family assets to his new wife. I am wondering if there is a relationship to be had with him anymore.