u/Ouch-slag

(With and without glasses on)

I (F28) moved to a new area semi-recently and I’ve started seeing a someone (F26) about 6 weeks ago. There is a lot that draws me in: she is compassionate, funny, we are both very sexually explorative, we feel very comfortable with each other and can talk for hours or sit in silence. It’s been so nice to connect with someone and feel so at home when everything else is so new.

The issue is her hygiene. There have been a few things she does that I find unsanitary that I’ve been able to express discomfort with. For example, leaving her unwashed menstrual disc on the sink for hours (please don’t comment your opinion on this shaming either of us, as it’s not the part I’m looking for input on). There are a few small habits like this that make me think hygiene isn’t something she tends to think about and this is also reflected in various body odours.

I feel comfortable being open about habits I don’t like but I feel horrible thinking about telling her about wishing she would wash herself better. I’ve never been someone who was fussy about natural scents, I actually normally quite like them. It’s never been off putting before but it definitely feels like a barrier to being as into her as I would be otherwise. I think it feels especially difficult to approach because it’s not just one thing like breath, it’s a few things (including breath) about her body. She has been so vulnerable with me, it feels like telling her would be so crushing and it’s really just not something I feel comfortable doing but it is getting in the way of intimacy at times and I feel like it’s going to come up in some way soon as there’s certain *things* I’ve avoided doing in the bedroom because of it. I really don’t know what to do. Please any advice!!!

EDIT: to clarify my intention is to address the issue, I’m just not sure how to do so in a way that isn’t hurtful. I can often be too direct and not realise that my voice sounds more intimidating than I realise so that adds a layer.
For further context, I had an ex tell me something similar but I’m pretty sure it was just to damage my self esteem/embarrass me (which was a big pattern), so it feels a lot to do something similar to someone I’m not even in an actual relationship with, just starting out (and going very well otherwise).

If it’s relevant I also experience chromatic abberation (which has also not been corrected).

I will be going back to the opticians but I just want to have more information to make sure I’m guiding them in the right direction to finally get my glasses sorted.

Background info:

I recently got my hearing tested due to tinnitus (standard and pulsatile both vary/fluctuate in both ears but are usually different in each ear), misophonia and sometimes have difficulty understanding/communicating with multiple noises. Turns out my hearing is great, I just have audio processing issues. However my hearing level and how clear noises are can change often. My right ear is much worse and feels quite full and can be uncomfortable.

The pulsatile tinnitus in my right ear can also get quite loud and thuddy; especially when laying down. It can sometimes give me vertigo too or at least feels like it. This ear also sometimes get kinda warm on the inside sometimes can feel like something’s been poured into it.

I had my ear wax removed professionally about a month ago and despite my ear being completely blocked and needing way more time and an attempt at a different method to remove it doesn’t feel less full or like I can hear much more (the extra ringing tinnitus that came with wax has kinda just been replaced with the sound of electricity so wasn’t an improvement for me).

I have a referral to ENT but not sure how many months that’s gonna take. Is there anything I need to be looking out for/paying attention to in the meantime? Wtf is going on, would love to know if anyone had any idea. Thanks in advance!