6 years as a tech writer. Salary (65k) has never gone up and probably never will unless I move to a new company.
I’ve been applying like crazy and all I can seem to land are interviews for contract positions (no benefits) with senior-level FT expectations.
Is anyone else on the market experiencing this?
Yesterday I went down from 30 mg a day (4 days of this) to 15 mg. I feel like it would make sense to maybe go three days or so with the 15mg a day before quitting completely, but here’s the thing….
It is becoming very clear to me that I was using to self medicate my OCD, and perhaps other problems I don’t know about. What is really messing with my mind is that I can’t know what’s withdrawal and what is my mental illness. The depression is the worst symptom and it is at its absolute worst in the morning, and doesn’t start to subside until like 3pm. Then cravings for my dose and mild physical withdrawal symptoms start to kick in. As crazy as this sounds, I’ve almost been looking forward to the physical withdrawal to start because I can identify it, know for certain what’s causing it, and usually by then the terrible despair and guilt and anxiety in my heart has passed.
What’s scaring me is that maybe I’m just like this. Maybe this isn’t withdrawal, and even when I free from 7-oh, I’ll still feel this way every morning. But I know I can’t say that until I’m off the stuff for a while.
Did anyone else have similar fears?
This is coming from someone who has experienced severe withdrawal from harsher substances. I guess I always believed the lie that weed withdrawal is mild. More like an inconvenience than torture.
It is day 8 cold turkey of 2 years of heavy, heavy use. I do not feel any better. This is the deepest, darkest depression I’ve ever felt in my life and it isn’t fading. I cannot sleep. I’ve developed this weird twitch in my left leg when I try to sleep, sort of like Tourette’s. It’s torture.
Although at their peak the withdrawals from other substances were a lot worse, after like 48 hours each day got a little easier. I now realize how much of a blessing that is.
Weed withdrawal however, plateaus. I feel just as bad on day 8 as I did on day 3.
Everything I look up is telling me this actually is fairly normal considering how much I was using. That’s the only thing I can hold on to. But I’ll admit I’m scared. I’m a grown man and I am scared.
I am praying by day 9 I start to feel some relief.
Heavy daily weed abuse for 2 years, no breaks.
Heavy daily krtom and 7 abuse for a year, some breaks.
I’m cold turkey day 5 off weed. Trying to wean off the other stuff.
I feel the strongest depression I’ve ever felt in my life. It’s a very physical sadness. I feel like I’m about to break down and cry at all moments, but at the same time I feel so “dead” that I can’t even cry.
It feels permanent. It feels like it isn’t going away, that this is just my mental state without the support of weed. I’m really struggling. I have no desire to use, but I just want this to end. I want to feel again. I want just a normal sober life.
I know day 5 isn’t much, but like I said, it feels like I’m not improving. The depression all day is the worst. The restless leg at night is the a close second.
Please tell me this is normal, that you felt the same way, that it will pass, that I’ll be happy again. It feels like relief will never come.
I’ve been using kratom every day, for I think a year now. I never took track of how much I was consuming. But sometimes thirty tablets a day, if not more. About 3 months ago (I think) I “upgraded” to 7-oh. Again, didn’t really keep track of how much I was consuming. But a lot. Sometimes 300 mg a day I think.
I also was smoking weed every day, multiple times a day for 2 years, no breaks at all.
I’m on day 4 of cold turkey from weed, and tapering with 7-oh. When I say taper though, I’m taking 15mg 7-oh every 12 hours, which is a huge jump from what I was taking.
The withdrawal is absolutely horrible. The symptom that is destroying me the most is the depression. For the past 4 days I have felt the most depressed I have ever felt in my life. When I take my dose I feel better for like 30 minutes then I’m right back to it.
I’m a recovered alcoholic, so this isn’t my first time around withdrawal, but this depression, idk, it’s different. It feels like it will never end. I honestly don’t feel much improvement from day 1.
I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. My mind is racing of every mistake I’ve ever made. I feel so incredibly sad. It’s a physical sadness. If I won a million dollars right now it wouldn’t go away.
It feels permanent. I know it’s not, but I just need to hear that it’s not. I’m in a really bad place right now and it feels like it will never end.