u/Ok_Abalone5471

I’ve been talking to this girl on Snapchat for a bit. The vibe was great honestly, one of the better connections I’ve had lately. She’s currently out of town, and we’d already agreed to grab a drink as soon as she got back to the city.
Then, the conversation shifted to backgrounds. She realized I wasn’t originally from here, and once she found out I’m from India, the energy shifted instantly. That "definitely" turned into a "maybe," and the replies started getting shorter.
I want to be clear: I’m not here to bash her or scream "racism." I’m a realist. I know the stereotypes, I know the "image" India has online right now, and I’m not going to spend my energy trying to advocate against someone’s personal preferences or comfort levels. People like what they like.
But man, it just feels heavy sometimes. You can do everything "right" have the career, the hobbies, the personality but you can’t outrun your place of birth. "Geographical luck" is a real thing, and today I’m definitely feeling the weight of the draw I got.
Just needed to vent that out to the void. Anyone else ever feel like they’re playing the dating game on "Hard Mode" based on things they can’t change?

I need to vent for a second because I feel like I’m losing my mind.
I’ve always loved the idea that language is supposed to unite people. I’ve gone out of my way to be friends with people from all over—multilingual, "linguistics" types, people with cool backgrounds. But lately, I’ve realized that instead of bringing us together, it’s being used as a tool to completely shut people out.
Does anyone else deal with friends who just… forget you exist the moment someone else speaks their native tongue?
I’ll be out at dinner or hanging at a house, and two of my "friends" will just dive into a conversation in a language they know I don’t speak a word of. And I’m not talking about a quick 30-second clarification. I’m talking hours. I’m literally sitting there, eating my fries or staring at my phone, while they laugh and debate and have this deep connection right in front of me.
It feels so incredibly unwelcoming. It’s like being a ghost at your own hangout. When I try to jump in or ask what’s up, I get a half-second summary like, "Oh, we're just talking about work," and then they go right back into it.
What is the word for this? Is there a specific term for people who are "linguistically cliquey" or just completely socially oblivious? It feels just straight-up conversational exclusion.
I used to think learning about different cultures was about opening doors, but right now it feels like I’m just standing outside a locked one. Am I being too sensitive, or is this just common-level rudeness now?

I need to vent for a second because I feel like I’m losing my mind.
I’ve always loved the idea that language is supposed to unite people. I’ve gone out of my way to be friends with people from all over—multilingual, "linguistics" types, people with cool backgrounds. But lately, I’ve realized that instead of bringing us together, it’s being used as a tool to completely shut people out.
Does anyone else deal with friends who just… forget you exist the moment someone else speaks their native tongue?
I’ll be out at dinner or hanging at a house, and two of my "friends" will just dive into a conversation in a language they know I don’t speak a word of. And I’m not talking about a quick 30-second clarification. I’m talking hours. I’m literally sitting there, eating my fries or staring at my phone, while they laugh and debate and have this deep connection right in front of me.
It feels so incredibly unwelcoming. It’s like being a ghost at your own hangout. When I try to jump in or ask what’s up, I get a half-second summary like, "Oh, we're just talking about work," and then they go right back into it.
What is the word for this? Is there a specific term for people who are "linguistically cliquey" or just completely socially oblivious? It feels just straight-up conversational exclusion.
I used to think learning about different cultures was about opening doors, but right now it feels like I’m just standing outside a locked one. Am I being too sensitive, or is this just common-level rudeness now?

Feeling lonely

I (27M) consider myself a feminist and want to see women continue to gain power and agency. At the same time, I feel like men’s voices and struggles are being overlooked lately. It feels like a paradox: acknowledging how much harm men have caused historically/socially, while still advocating for the "good" and the need for men to be supported. I think we need to be able to do both.

So, I had a bit of a bizarre encounter today at the Queen’s PEC after a swim, and I’m still trying to process it.
I was absolutely parched after my laps properly dehydrated , and just needed a mouthful of water to get me home. I saw a guy filling up his bottle at the fountain and politely asked if I could have a quick sip.
He was hesitant but said, "Okay, but are you going to drink it from above?" (meaning ‘air-dogging’ it/not touching the plastic). I told him "Yeah, of course!" and took a quick drink without my lips ever touching the bottle.
To show my appreciation, I offered to finish filling the bottle up for him so he didn't have to wait. I handed it back, thanked him again, and started heading out.
As I was walking away, I looked back and saw him drop the entire bottle straight into the bin.
I’m actually gutted! I thought I was being helpful by refilling it, but now I feel like a biohazard. Was I out of order for asking, or is throwing away a perfectly good reusable bottle over a 'no-contact' sip a bit mental? I am Indian.