u/Ok-Performance2317

Enga paathalum ore relationships post-a iruku, athan oru doubt ketkanum nu thonuchu.....

So Oru kutty story.....about me and my friend...we both are male and in our late 20s.

So naanga meet paninathu college la than and enga rendu per kulla nalla oru vibe irunthuchu, ipo varaikum close frnds-a irukom , more than a decade...

When I was 16, my family lost everything because of my father's financial mistakes, kadaisila na engineering padikurathe periya vishayama irunthuchu.. epdiyo kadan vaangi college la sernthaachu, college life fulla financial-a neraya struggles ,so kidacha opportunities-a engalala full-a utilise panika mudiala...en friend oda family background poor than, even oru semester apo kooda crowd funding maathiri amount collect Pani than avanuku fees pay paninom.Intha financial problems naala relationship kulla pogura mindset varala apo, it doesn't mean that we don't know how to talk to girls, ponunga frnds irunthanga, ipovum irukaanga(college/office) athula oru silar ku interest irukunu therinjum, na avungala avoid Paninen.

Na degree mudichapo,my salary was around 24000,but family had a debt of 30 lakhs and we don't have any properties as well, verum 24000 salary-a vechu, 30 lakhs kadan-a epdi adaikurathu....na atha pathi than yosichene thavira, relationships kulla pora mindset suthama ila...

And that frnd ,he lost his father (cardiac arrest), we both were 21 at that time....after that avan family situation-a avanaala manage pana mudiala, Athuku apuram he moved to dubai and now he is making around 1.5 lakhs a month and also he is the sole bread winner of his family...yen yarayum approach panna thonalaina, date pananum apdingara mindset suthama ila coz mentally and financially we were not ready for another commitment,apuram paathukalaam nu vitaachu...so single-a ve irunthutom, but marriage panikanum apdingara oru aasai irukum la....

And neraya per arranged marriage is transactional, 2026 la kooda arranged marriages-a ? nu neraya per intha sub la ketrukaanga....apuram social medias la kooda(insta,youtube), Love marriage/dating vs arranged marriage nu varum bothu neraya ponunga love marriage/dating than choose paninanga, avunga point of view la athu correct than, because they can able to know a person..

So neenga soldra maathiriye arranged marriage-a ban panitanganu vechukalaam, apdi oru system-e ila...

Apo engala maathiri pasangaluku ena solution? Kadaisi varaikum thaniyaave irukanuma? And also recent-a oru ponnu 25(F), past relationships pathi oru post potrunthanga,...ena maathiri ,yen frnd maathiri irukura Pasanga past relationships ilama irukura oru ponna ethir paakurathu thappu ilaye?

Sorry for the title mistake ..Enna VAALKAI da Ithu.

Nalla job ,nalla salary irunthum life-a enjoy pana mudiala. Ipo situation enana? I am in my 20s making a good salary but pudicha ethayum pana mudiala, Yenna Sontha veedu ila...irunga detailed-a soldren.

When I was 16, we lost our home and properties because of my father's financial mistakes.athuku apuram vaadaigai veedu than.ipo matter enana, intha oru vishayam life-a avlo affect panum nu ninachu paakala.

Yes ,pudicha bike vaanga mudiala, car vaanga mudiala, oru relationship ku poga mudiala...chaikkk.

Recent-a puthu bike vaanga aasai paten around 2 lakhs and I can able to afford without any emi, but ..intha bike unaku set aaguthu, mileage nalla irukaathu, ipdi ethavathu soliruntha paravalla,vadagai veetula irukuravanuku ethuku 2 lakhs ku bike nu ketkuraanga.

Enoda colleague recent-a honda city edutharu and romba nalla irunthuchu, veetula car edukurenu sona, nammale vadagai veetula irukom ,namaku ethuku car?..(I can able to pay 75% as down payment).

Oru relationship kulla enala poga mudiala ,yarayum approach pana thonala, Yenna financially I feel insecure(yes,na accept paniruken).sontha veedu kooda ilayanu ponunga ketkumbothu ,date pandra mindset-e poiruthu. Office poren ,varen , salary account la thoonguthu, avlo than....savings pandrathu nallathu than ,but ethayume anubavikama ,kaasu matum serthi vachu ena panna porenu thonuthu?

Car,bike ithellam materialistic things than,but intha vayasula aasai padaama,vera epo aasai paduruthu.

Veedu katalaam nu paatha, land ku matume 20 - 25L thevai paduthu, and 2 bhk construct pandrathuku kooda atleast 30L aavuthu Venum, nan land-ku loan poduratha ila veedu katta loan poduratha?...nalla job, nalla salary irunthum life-a anubavika mudiala, ena vaalkai da ithu.....irukura ella amount-um gold la poda soldranga,yes I can understand,nalla investment than, but ipdiye paatha na epo than enaku pudicha maathiri irukurathu, 40, 50 vayasulaya?

I am 28M, working as a stock market analyst and a swing trader. intha sub la relationships pathi neraya posts padichuruken so itha share pananumnu thonuchu. intha post konjam.. ila rombave lengthy-a irukum, coz I am going to share some incidents which have happened in my life ..Sari vaanga story kulla pogalaam.

This happened when I was 16. Enga District la one of the top 3 schools la than padichen, schools la boys and girls pesika koodathunu unofficial rule irunthaalum, 12th la me and my friends have decided to talk to girls( staffs ku theriama), so start panumbothe relationships elam vendam, friends-a irupom nu than pesa aarambhichom and still we are good friends over-a decade.school time la just crush matum than irunthuche thavira , relationships ethuvum ila..

Antha time la because of my father's mistake,we lost our properties and everything(house,land,lorry),12th la I scored around 90%,but college join pandrathe periya vishayama iruthuchu. Coimbatore and chennai la sila nalla colleges kidachum ,enga native la Iruka college than padichen, Yenna fees arrange pana mudiala and education loan-um kidaikala, but finally my grandparents helped me to pay the college fees and inaikum na avungaluku Nandri kadan patruken.

College first semester la neraya couples form aavanga ilaya, but enaku apo entha interest-um ila, Yenna enga sontha veedu kaiya vittu ponathu elarukum romba kastama irunthuchu,apo decide pannen, sontha veedu vaanguna apuram than relationships, marriage pathi yosikanum apdinu. So college life fulla single-ve irunthaachu And ovvoru semester layum nanum en friend-um than kadaisiya last minute la fees pay panitu hall ticket vaanguvom, appo rapido, zepto ithellam ila ,so part time job-um, Ethuvum kidaikala..apo iruntha family situation la college padichathe periya vishayam,romba kasta pattu than fees pay paninanga so ponnungala approach panna manasu varala...

College padichapo perusa ethuvum therla, but na mnc join panna apuram, people treated me differently especially my colleagues who are from stable financial background. Casual-a ketpaanga "Sontha veedu kooda ilaya","unga kita ethuvume ilaya", "love paninathe ilaya" ,Oru date kooda ponathu ilaya "," oru love kooda paninathu ilaya","love marriage than bro best-u", " Arranged marriage ku elam epdi bro support Pandringa" apdinu.. na degree mudichapo ,enoda salary around 24000,but my father had a debt of around 40 lakhs. 24k salarya vechu 40 lakhs epdi repay panalaamnu yosichane thavira , relationships pathiyo ila commit aaguratha pathiyo na yosichathu ila, enala higher studies kooda pana mudiala. Neraya money earn pananum, kadan adaikanum nu than na intha stock market field-a choose Panen.

Intha sub la neraya per soluvanga , Arranged marriage is purely transactional, Arranged marriage is only for men who are losers, 2026 la kooda arranged marriage-a? ,you should have skills and you have to put efforts to woo a girl blahh blahh blahh.. but na Inga enna pandrathu, na yaarukaga effort podurathu? ...appa oda kadan-a epdiyaavathu adaikanum, sister-a padika vaikanum , sontha veedu vaanganum,Nan ithukaaga effort podurathaa ,ilaa yaarune theriatha oru ponna epdi impress panalam ,avungala epdi love pana vaikalam nu avunga pinnadi suthuratha? .na ethuku first priority kodukanum. Love marriage-a glorify pandravanga, en idathula neenga iruntha ena panirupinga? . En family than enaku mukiyam nu solla varala, but Oru responsible person-a na enoda duties -a paathu thaane aaganum. Mathabadi AMMA PAIYAN ELAM ILAINGA. Naane Inga kasta padum bothu, epdi oru ponnu kita poi unna nalla paathukurenu solla mudium.

Some of my friends did love marriage and they are all from normal middle class family, but avungaluku perusa entha responsibilities-um ila before marriage, degree mudicha aprom ethavathu oru job ku pona pothum, So they had lot of time to put efforts for their girlfriend and most of them got married to their girlfriend before 25. Most-a avunga elarum oru financially stable aana background la irunthu vanthaanga, so future pathi perusa avungaluku entha worries ila, ithunaala avunga relationship kaaga avungalaala neraya time spend pana mudinchathu,neraya effort-um poda mudinjuthu.

Enoda inoru friend he lost his father when we were 22. Night 1:30 ku phone adichan, machan appa heart attack la eranthutaaru, ammavum sister-um hospital la thaniya irukaanga,ne seekiram kilambi po machan apdinu sonnan, vera yaarum ila anga ( he was in other state at that time).na early morning 3 mani ku first bus pudichu anga ponnen, within a month he moved to dubai, now he is the sole bread winner of his family and enga life ipdi than irunthuchu. Avankum inum marriage aagala,ipothaiku marriage panna virupam ilainu solitan

Love panna interest ilainu solala, but mentally and financially we are not ready for another commitment.oru 2 years ku apuram than marriage pandra idea la irukom( around age 30-31).

So kelvi enana, Inga neraya per love marriage-a glorify Pandringa ,arranged marriage is purely transactional nu soldringa, neenga soldra maathiri arranged marriage apdingara oru system-e ilainu vechukalam,but engala maathiri pasangaluku ena solution. Naanga epdi marriage life kulla enter aagurathu, engalukum aasaigal irukum la.

Bro.. you have to balance both career and relationships nu easy-a solidalaam ,but practical-a athu romba kastam. life -la financial-a neraya struggle face paniyaachu,so relationships naala kasta pada virumbala, and breakups ithellam face panavum virumbala.

Financial stability ilaindra ore oru reason naala than na love panala. Financially stable-a ilaathathu naala neraya couples breakup pandrathayum na paathuruken,Oruvela na love paniruntha ,mostly intha reason naala than breakup aagirukum.athuku apuram than intha caste elam.

Intha sub la neraya per irukinga,from teenagers ,20s,30s, single, married , rich ,poor elame irupinga.so ungaloda point of view la ethavathu opinion sonna nalla Irukum, especially those who glorify love marriage and Inga neraya per soldra maathiri arranged marriage -a ban panitanganu vechukalam, ena maathiri oru brother unga relative aagavo ila unga friends circle layo iruntha ,ena solution solvinga? Arranged marriage than best-nu solla varala but 30 vayasuku mela na epdi love-a thedi porathu?