u/Normal_Cabinet3094

Really want to get work done and I'm not sure if my teachers will give any more extensions.

Watched the Malcom in the Middle Pilot last night. At the start of the episode Malcom says “The best part about childhood is that at some point it stops.” I feel like I’ve definitely heard the “At some point it stops” sampled and put at the end of a song. I think it could have been something by Brave Little Abacus, maybe Glass Beach. Anyone familiar? I was pretty high while watching so maybe I’m just imagining it.

Was working on a class project when I stepped away from my laptop and it entered Rest Mode. Trying to log in a now windows is stuck on “Hello, [User]!” Not sure what to do beside restarting my laptop but oh my god if my files didn’t save I’m losing about 4-5 hours of work and I am absolutely fucked. Project due tomorrow night and I also need to study for my exam.

Just want to get this off my chest. Blacked out Friday night at an event. Pretty much can’t remember anything. My close friends told me I did some pretty stupid and embarrassing things that I have next to no recollection of. No one seems mad, but man I made an ass out of myself. It was a large event and I don’t know who saw what. I could have completely ruined my reputation with some people and I don’t even know about it.

Also holy shit I could have actually died. Thank god for some friends who took care of me, but I was in an unfamiliar place with no memory of my actions. I could have very well gotten separated and ran into traffic or fallen down somewhere or something.

I just can’t believe that I did all of this shit. Some of what I did is without a doubt pretty bad and I can’t remember it happening. I feel sick to my stomach and wish I could go back and completely change all of my actions. Maybe I’ve got to be sober because I seriously could have ruined my entire life in one night.

19M college student considering starting therapy. I think I’m noticing a lot of really bad habits that I have that I would like to change. Just gonna list some of the things out.

1. I have many goals and ambitions but rarely end up achieving the things I want to do. I go through periods of intense motivation and then fall into times when I get very lazy. There’s also times when I have absurdly high self confidence and times when I feel inadequate. Some days I feel fantastic and that I live the perfect life and then other days I just wish that I could disappear.

2. I am normally a pretty socially anxious and I am constantly worried about how people perceive me. I am a people pleaser to the highest degree and will often disregard my wants and needs to help those that wouldn’t do much for me.

3. I think I have this weird fear that everyone is out to get me in a way. No one really wants to be my friend and secretly hates me. Everyone is waiting for some excuse to get rid of me and would turn on me as soon as I screw up. I compare myself to others constantly and wish I could be someone else.

I think I’ve felt these things for a long time. I think I have this weird complex where I think I’m abnormal in some way and that if I could “fix” it everything would be great. Maybe it’s all part of growing up, but maybe I could benefit from some therapy. I talk to my mom about these things, but it’s hard to be completely honest with her and I always take her advice with a grain of salt because she is biased. Beyond that I don’t really have anyone to get these things off my chest with.

I have been to therapy before. Once in high school when I was very depressed after my first girlfriend broke up with me and also did some self harm. I went back for like 4 sessions last year because I was really struggling adapting to college at first. I’ve been thinking about this a little over the past few months, but really thinking about it now after I got completely black-out drunk at an event last night and made some really embarrassing and bad decisions.

Lmk what you think.

Woke up and I’m probably still a little drunk. I definitely made some bad decisions, but probably blowing things way out of proportion. Still feels like my life is doomed and that none of my friends will ever like me again and that I should hide in a hole for the rest of my life. Worst emotional state in recent memory.