u/No_Experience2611

I’m 19 and recently reconnected with my ex after a pretty intense breakup a while ago.

In our first relationship, I’ll be honest — I had some controlling behaviours early on, and that contributed to the breakup. Since then, I’ve genuinely worked on myself and changed, and I’m confident I’m not that same person anymore.

We hadn’t been talking for a while, but recently we reconnected and things moved really fast. Within about a week:

we were talking every day like we were in a relationship

we saw each other multiple times

spent full days together (coffee, lunch, gym, etc.)

got physical again and ended up sleeping together

she even accidentally said “I love you” after sex

We also had deep conversations about doing things properly this time, even talking about possibly going to couples therapy and making it work.

We had a really open conversation about her fears as well — she said she’s scared of repeating the past and hurting me again, and I reassured her that I’ve changed and we could take things slower.

The next morning, everything still felt normal and good.

But then she went to a psychologist appointment, and afterwards everything changed. She told me:

she wants to break the cycle

she’s scared of relationships because her past ones have been bad

she doesn’t want to be in a relationship for a long time

she needs to explore and figure out what she wants

she doesn’t think it will work right now

We had a really emotional call where we were both crying, and she said she feels this is the best thing for both of us.

I sent a final message saying I respect her decision and I’ll give her space.

I’m really struggling because:

everything felt completely real and mutual

she clearly still has feelings

we literally talked about making it work

and then it just ended straight after that appointment

I genuinely feel like that appointment changed everything, and I don’t know how to process that.

I just need honest advice because I don’t know what happens now.

Do I:

Give her space and move on

Hope she comes back later

Accept that it’s over for good

In our first relationship, I’ll be honest — I had some controlling behaviours early on, and that contributed to the breakup. Since then, I’ve genuinely worked on myself and changed, and I’m confident I’m not that same person anymore.

We hadn’t been talking for a while, but recently we reconnected and things moved really fast. Within about a week:

we were talking every day like we were in a relationship

we saw each other multiple times

spent full days together (coffee, lunch, gym, etc.)

got physical again and ended up sleeping together

she even accidentally said “I love you” after sex

We also had deep conversations about doing things properly this time, even talking about possibly going to couples therapy and making it work.

We had a really open conversation about her fears as well — she said she’s scared of repeating the past and hurting me again, and I reassured her that I’ve changed and we could take things slower.

The next morning, everything still felt normal and good.

But then she went to a psychologist appointment, and afterwards everything changed. She told me:

she wants to break the cycle

she’s scared of relationships because her past ones have been bad

she doesn’t want to be in a relationship for a long time

she needs to explore and figure out what she wants

she doesn’t think it will work right now

We had a really emotional call where we were both crying, and she said she feels this is the best thing for both of us.

I sent a final message saying I respect her decision and I’ll give her space.

I’m really struggling because:

everything felt completely real and mutual

she clearly still has feelings

we literally talked about making it work

and then it just ended straight after that appointment

I genuinely feel like that appointment changed everything, and I don’t know how to process that.

I just need honest advice because I don’t know what happens now.

Do I:

Give her space and move on

Hope she comes back later

Accept that it’s over for good