Confused- Child free?
I’m 29 and my husband is 32. We’ve been married for about 1.5 years. Growing up, I never really had a strong desire to become a mother. I do like kids, I love my niece nephew and friends’ babies but I never felt that desire to have one of my own.
Before marriage, I assumed maybe after 2 years of marriage I’d feel ready and will plan for one, and that desire would come naturally. But as time passes, I actually feel the opposite. The more I see the reality of parenting, the constant attention, lack of rest, emotional and physical demands, the more I feel like it’s not something I truly want.
Recently, I spent time with close family friends who have 2 kids under 2. They were clearly struggling, both kids crying, no proper rest, constant chaos. Even a short trip with them felt exhausting instead of relaxing for me. It made me realize how difficult it really is, and honestly, I don’t think I have the patience or energy for that kind of responsibility.
What worries me most is the idea of bringing a child into the world without genuinely wanting it. That doesn’t feel fair to the child. I’d rather be honest with myself than regret such a huge decision later.
I’ve tried telling my husband that I don’t want kids, but I’m not sure he takes it seriously he may think I’m just saying it casually. He likes kids, but I also don’t feel confident that he would be equally involved in taking care of the baby other than financially.
Is it normal to feel this way after marriage? Has anyone else shifted toward wanting to be child-free, even if you once thought you’d have kids?