This is hitting the spot. Brown rice (defrosted from freezer and heated up in microwave), tofu tossed with nutritional yeast and a bit of olive oil & air fryed for 10 minutes, cucumbers, parsley, scallion, tomato, a big scoop of hummus, and some pumpkin seeds.
Everything other than the tofu & ketchup are from my farm share. No oil used on the air fryer potatoes, and only a tiny bit of oil for the tofu. Delicious!
I find work friendships challenging in academia. I'm a recently tenured faculty member who comes from a blue-collar family and I had a bunch of jobs before going to graduate school. I love my job, but it's still just a job to me, and I often struggle to relate to the work-centric identity a lot of academics have. I don't really want my life to revolve around work. I enjoy being friendly with colleagues, but I'm having trouble setting up boundaries.
There is specifically one colleague who is a LOT to deal with. They've been going through a rough time, and they are a friend, so I have been supporting them, but they are a hot mess and always have been. Not the nicest person, and very clearly consider an egomaniac with low self esteem situation. I can accept all that. The biggest issue is that they only want to make plans on their terms. They do not respect my boundaries (I don't want to stay out late, that's the main one), they never want to leave their neighborhood, they want to get into a back and forth over text for DAYS with paragraph long texts arranging hangouts, and they always want to hang out for hours on end. I honestly would rather just get coffee occasionally (once every couple months?) and I have tried to make that happen, but I end up people pleasing.
I can't just cut them off, we are colleagues and I do care about this person. But I have to be honest that they don't add a lot to my life. If we weren't colleagues it would be easier to set and keep to my boundaries. What would you do in this situation?
ETA: I think this is related to academia because in my field/department it seems like there is an unspoken expectation to be friends with colleagues outside work.
see update after appointment below!
F 44, still have my period but it's gotten longer and heavier, and a few other changes. Last time I talked to her about anxiety (1 yr ago), she put me on 5mg Lexapro. That's been okay, but I am having other symptoms.
Peri stuff:
night sweats
rage
irritability
weight gain
brain fog
insomnia
Possibly undiagnosed ADHD:
-inability to do things like get off the couch even though my entire life I've been hyper capable and productive
-interrupting people and talking at lenght
-jumping from topic to topic in my mind and in conversations
-extreme procrastination and overwhelm
-dopamine seeking from food and internet
-emotional disregulation
ETA: I do a lot of things to take care of myself: Whole-food plant based diet, weight lifting, lots of walking, therapy, acupuncture + Chinese herbs, 12-step fellowship. But it still feels like unmanageable.
Looking for advice on what to say first/ how to say it. I am not sure how to talk to her about all this! It is a family doctor. I am in Canada. I will need a referral to a psychiatrist unless she is comfortable assessing and prescribing. I am taking 2 checklists from medical sites (Menopause Checklist + ADHD Self-Report Scale) filled out.
Does anyone have tips on what and how to say it? I have read through the Wiki several times and still feel nervous.
UPDATE: Thanks to advice from this sub, I decided to just go with discussing perimenopause.
Well, it was a great appointment. We discussed my symptoms (I also took in a printout of the checklist from Let's Talk Menopause). She asked if I had any thoughts about treatment (because she knew I had done research) before she gave her opinion. I said probably a low dose estradiol patch and prometrium would be best for me, "but you're the doctor!" She agreed, but said she wanted to do blood work first to double check my thyroid, cholesterol, and ferritin. And she wants to do an ultrasound and sonohysterography to check for polyps, since I have had irregular bleeding. And she explained the reason being something like how I react to HRT can be interpreted in different ways based on whatever the ultrasound shows.
I was hoping to walk out with the prescription, but I actually feel hopeful and excited.
I posted last week asking for success stories and really appreciate all the responses. I mentioned in the previous post that I would be occasionally eating fish, but I've decided to not do that, and commit to be being 100% free of animal products, as whole foods-based as possible, and to greatly reduce oil when cooking for my family (and eliminate it in my meals where I cook just for me--breakfast and lunch).
I'm F 44, 5'1, and currently weigh 151-153 pounds, which is very high for me. I am very active. I lift weights 3x/week following a progressive overload program, I walk daily averaging 12k steps, though sometimes it's a lot more. I occasionally do sprint intervals on the treadmill. I have a puppy and 2 young kids. Life is active and busy.
One idea I had was to follow Daily Dozen (about 1250 calories), and then add a bit more protein to either lunch or dinner in the form of tofu or tempeh.
Now I'm thinking maybe I should try the Starch Solution or Mary's Mini from Dr. McDougall?
I lost about 11 pounds last summer/fall just doing calorie counting, but then I stopped and gained it all back (this was largely on an omnivore diet). ETA: I can't calorie count anymore. It makes me obsessive, food becomes all I think about it, and I don't want to do it forever, whereas I do want to eat WFPB forever.
Typical day of eating for me the last week or so has been:
Breakfast: 1/2 cup raw rolled oats, cooked in 1.5 cups unsweetened soy milk, with 1/2 cup frozen blue berries, 1 tbsp ground flaxseed, 1 tbsp hemp seeds, and 1/4 cup walnuts.
Lunch: 1/2 cup cooked brown rice & 1/2 cup cooked beans or tofu with a lot of non starchy veg and some hot sauce. Fruit afterwards
-sometimes a snack of baby carrots, celery sticks, hummus (about 1/3-1/2 cup) and some fruit.
Dinner: 1/2 cup cooked rice, 1 cup tofu & veg cooked with oil, BUT I would use 1 tbsp for the entire recipe, which is 4+ servings. This is a lot less than I would use in the past.
2 Medjool dates for dessert.
The weight is not budging. Any ideas? I am truly open to any kind advice. Thanks in advance!
I want to learn how to play a really easy Gillian Welch song on guitar. I am a total newbie. Is there anything with just 2 chords? Anything off Soul Journey in particular would be amazing. Thanks!
Never liked eating meat as a kid. I’ve been moving more and more towards plant-based, but now I can no longer dissociate and ignore the absolutely disgusting and immoral meat industries, and the scale they operate on. For me it’s inseparable from my broader social justice values, critique of capitalism, and anti-racist stance. No more moving towards veganism—I am
now fully there. I feel such relief to have this clarity.
Looking for inspiration. F 44, 5’1 and wanting to lose 25 pounds. I am currently at a 28 BMI. A1C and other bloodwork all very good. I am active (lift weights 3x/wk and walk on average 12k steps daily). I am committing to WFPB oil free for breakfast and lunch, and about 85% of dinners (I cook for my family and they are not following this). For the dinners that fall outside WFPB, jt’s typically oil that is being used (though greatly reduced), and sometimes fish or white rice or pasta.
I do not want to count calories as that can lead me into the restrict-binge cycle. I hit the daily dozen as a baseline. I am so happy eating like this and can imagine doing it long term.
It’s been about a week and I am feeling good, but just wanting to hear inspiration and success stories. Also open to advice or ideas.