I (31 m) have been married to my husband (33m) for 6 years now. Long story short those 6 years have been fine but not amazing. Not a lot of argument but definitely not as much intimacy as I’d like. He feels inadequate in that department so he says he’s embarrassed to do anything. I know it seems like tmi but this context really matters.
About 2 months ago I put up a nanny cam to watch our elderly dog. Well lo and behold one night it catches him on IG screenshotting guys profiles who look nothing like me. I thought that was odd but ok, maybe he’s just sending the pics to a friend.
Minutes later I found out I was wrong in the worst way. He was navigating to their x pages to view material their 18+ content. He then began doing what a lot of men do while watching that content.
One day one time ok.
Two days, two times weird.
Three days three times Houston we have a problem.
I got tired of watching him do it and confronted him. He freaked out over the nanny cam then started spewing excuses like “I was looking at their pages so I’d know how to look sexy for you” or “I was watching the videos to learn techniques to please you”. He also claimed he wasn’t… ya know but was just itching. I knew that was bullshit because I caught the whole 5 minute each time ordeal on film. He also hid his insta account so I could t see who he was following any more. Ref flags on red flags.
He then said he’s be honest but wanted the cameras unplugged. Ok. Did that but he kept acting more strange and our dog’s health kept getting worse so I moved the camera and plugged it back in. The new angle didn’t show much but at least implied it was still happening. Well last night I moved it and I got my confirmation. Same stuff all over again. 4th time for sure, hundredth time from what I could guess from the weird angle.
He looked down the hall to see if I was coming 10 times so he knows hiding it from me is wrong. I am hurt because if he’s looking at guys who look nothing like me and hiding it it makes me fear he has some guys in the side. It hurts that he’s not being honest.
What should I do and do I have reason to worry?