u/Ned_Kellet001

I'm really done with the way people use things like Forgiveness to put pressure on the victims like if they owned something to bullies and perpetrators.

I mean, forgiveness is a good thing? Yes, sometimes yes, it is a good thing and can end many argues and uncomfortable situations. I'm not saying that forgiveness is a bad thing or anything. The problem is how people use forgiveness and what they believe it is.

In my case for example, I didn't forgive the bullies because they didn't ask for it. They didn't apologize and they have not even regretted bullying me. If they had apologized to me, I certainly would think in their case (not saying I would forgive but I would at least think about it) , and so I can't give for free something that is only gained when asked.

Most people don't understand that forgiveness is something asked for, not given freely without the person wanting to receive it. And it's so unfair because the victim is always expected to forgive the abusers and be the "bigger person" while the abusers walks freely for there living their lives without being hold accountable.

Sometimes it's better to not forgive and try to move on than try to do something that you don't really want to do.

I always get pissed off when I see society saying, "Bullies have dysfunctional families," or "they had a hard life," or even "bullies are just insecure people," because 90% of cases, that's not true. I don't know why people insist on finding a way to victimise bullies and perpetrators by saying they have/had a tragic backstory.

Can it be true in some cases? Yeah, maybe. I'm not saying it's impossible or anything, because there surely are insecure people out there who prejudice people in an attempt to feel better. But the thing is, those cases are not many, to be honest. The majority of bullies had/have a great life; sometimes they have lives even better than the victim (before and after the bullying), and there are many studies who proved this.

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/jora.12675

The link above is from a study that addresses the topic of bullies succeeding in life (especially in social life). Most of them have many friends, are dating, and even have great self-esteem and confidence, but they still like to put others down.

I hate how our society is hypocritical. People make millions of excuses for toxic behavior, and when decent people try to fight against all those kinds of toxic people, we get used as a scapegoat and labeled as the "real toxic people".

Last night, when I went to bed, I couldn't sleep (because it was too early to go to sleep), so I ended up scrolling through my phone. I checked one of my friends' Instagram profiles to see if they'd posted anything (because I mostly use Instagram to watch Reels, and my “friends” and I talk more in person than through messages).

I went to the profile of someone I don’t talk to much but who I follow, and he follows me back (I had a crush on him, and that’s actually what motivated me to work up the courage to try to be friends with him), and I realized he was attractive both in person and in photos.

I ended up crying because I also wanted to be handsome, and it’s all so unfair because nobody asked to be born, and when it’s my turn, I end up with an ugly body. This is already the second time I’ve cried comparing myself to him (the first was in 2025 when I was still getting to know him, and he had gone out on a Saturday with his other friends and was all dressed up), but yesterday I cried very little compared to the other time.

That’s why I avoid looking at people’s Instagrams, especially his, because it always reminds me of the harsh truth. This world is so unfair, man.

Last night, when I went to bed, I couldn't sleep (because it was too early to go to sleep), so I ended up scrolling through my phone. I checked one of my friends' Instagram profiles to see if they'd posted anything (because I mostly use Instagram to watch Reels, and my “friends” and I talk more in person than through messages).

I went to the profile of someone I don’t talk to much but who I follow, and he follows me back (I had a crush on him, and that’s actually what motivated me to work up the courage to try to be friends with him), and I realized he was attractive both in person and in photos.

I ended up crying because I also wanted to be handsome, and it’s all so unfair because nobody asked to be born, and when it’s my turn, I end up with an ugly body. This is already the second time I’ve cried comparing myself to him (the first was in 2025 when I was still getting to know him, and he had gone out on a Saturday with his other friends and was all dressed up), but yesterday I cried very little compared to the other time.

That’s why I avoid looking at attractive people’s Instagrams, especially his, because it always reminds me of the harsh truth. This world is so unfair, man.

This. I'm really tired of seeing schools, specially teachers, defend bullies and sometimes even incentive them to continue bullying people up. I know that not every school are like this (there are still good schools out there) but most of them have this insane problem with defending bullies and blame victims.

I've had an experience like this before, when i studied at a private school back in 2024. Some annoying bullies would casually go after me in the break time (or even during class) and then start to say that things like "you're weird" ; "the [insert person] is way better than you" and etc. And it was randomly because I didn't do anything to them, actually, I have even tried to befriend them but they literally decided to verbally attack me whenever they could.

When my parents told the principal about what was happening, He literally said it wouldn't be a good idea to go ahead with that because the bullies' parents could have not wanted to be Importunate with the fact that their kids are bullies, and that they probably wouldn't do much (which may be true because some parents are crappy) but still. The bullies themselves have even blamed me and said that I was the one who was bullying them and the school just signed along.

I get really angry when I see people defending bullied and blaming the victims like if we had fault for the bullying we've suffered.