u/Mirion1602

I've been on Concerta (54mg) for a couple months, it's not really doing much, we were waiting if maybe it'll kick in with bit more time, but it's not helping me with attention or focus at all, it never has, all it does is mute the constant passive anxiety in my brain, that's it. We can't up the dosage anymore, we don't have stronger Concerta legally available in my country, and it's expensive either way, and my insurance doesn't cover stimulants so I wouldn't be able to afford it anyways.

My psychiatrist recommended either switching to fast release stimulants or non-stimulants (which would take too long to kick in, and I can't afford waiting for weeks to see if anything starts happening)

He ended up prescribing me Ritalin (10mg), that I'll be taking 3 times per day, and got instruction how to (and how much to) increase my dosage if necessary, which I'll be starting to take tomorrow

Has anyone experienced switching from slow to fast release stimulants? I don't really know what to expect of it

Mám pocit že v dnešní době už není možné zabránit starým rodičům a prarodičům aby se nenechali ošidit na internetu

Babička si dlouhodobě bere půjčky od hodně jasně scammerských společností, ten typ co "půjčuje zadarmo a komukoliv", tady tyhle "investice" už nás jako rodinu vyšly na víc než mega, už jim kvůli tomu minimálně jednou málem sebrali barák, ale ona si nadšeně "investuje" dál, hezky tajně dokud už se na ni nechystá exekuce, to pak začne zpívat

"Naposledy" se po ní muselo splácet tak 700k a to už jsme si mysleli že je to u konce protože jí po tomto strejda zablokoval bankovní účty a sebral chytrý telefon. No ne, ona má tajné bankovní účty a taky si může furt vytvořit nové.

Dneska jsem otevřela poprvé po delší době facebook, a vidím jak tam sdílí na storíčku screenshot nějaké nové zahraničí platby (což by vůbec neměla být schopná dělat když měla mít zablokované účty žejo), příjemce s francouzským IBANem, nějakých 150€. Tak jsem hnedka psala do rodinné skupinovky, a zjistím že to není první taková platba, že chvíli zpátky takhle můj bratr takhle stejně viděl že někomu poslala 300€, a určitě se to s její historií stane znovu. Strejda co tohle musí řešit tak se z toho na prášky

Nemůžeme ji odstřihnout od internetu protože by to prý bylo "omezování lidských práv", a stejně tak jí nemůžeme jen tak zakázat Facebook kde ty scamy vyhledává, nebo nastavit rodičovskou kontrolu na její elektronice, protože prostě "lidská práva"

Takže dokud ji vyloženě nenecháme zbavit svéprávnosti, což v jejím případě soud nemusí uznat protože kromě těchhle "investic" má úsudek normální, tak prostě budeme muset tyhle ojeby dál splácet nebo prostě seberou dům (který nechal opravit strýc s tetou a splácí za to hypotéku) a pak další majetky

Domluva očividně nezabírá, poučili jsme ji znovu a znovu a nic, prostě jede dál a utrácí peníze co nemá. Ani zablokované účty nepomáhají protože si na tyhle věci už teďka třeba půjčuje od známých v hotovosti, a známé samozřejmě dají protože jsou ve stejné věkové skupině a kolikrát se nechávají šidit úplně stejně, nebo si mezi sebou dávají tipy na tyhle "investice" a jsou v tom stejném scamu zatáhnuté taky

Takže v tuhle chvíli prostě už nemáme kromě nějaké soudní cesty vlastně žádnou (legální) možnost jak tady tyhle "investice" zastavit, prostě je spoléháno na to že se danému člověku domluví a on dobrovolně přestane

Nebo je nějaký jiný způsob jak tady tohle šizení důchodců zatrhnout?

I don't know how to describe it, it's just... it's like a specific part of brain is activated during a zone out, I feel it behind the frontal bone, either it starts in the lower half of the forehead, around where the sinuses are, from where depending on how deep the zone-out is, it sometimes stretches all the way back to the temples, or it starts at the temples and goes towards the forehead. Based on my attempt at self-observation, it feels like the zone out at the front is where you drift when you're sleepy, and the zone out at the temples is the "normal" kind of zone out, when you're awake. Sometimes when I'm trying to sleep my thoughts start forming from a "wrong" area in the brain and it wakes me up, like instead of them being that the front where they're not interfering, they form somewhere deeper in or further up where they wake the brain??
If regular thinking felt crisp, zoned out thinking feels mush, like overcooked pasta
When I'm daydreaming and snap out of the zone I can feel my presence of mind moving into a different area in the brain. I have a problem with being zoned out because it feels like it's not just a "state of mind" but the brain is turned on in that zone-out area only, so it's hard to snap out of it

Does anyone else feel this too?

A couple years ago I had a dream that stuck with me. Generally the dreams I still remember in the morning are all somehow interesting/weird, but this one just stands out

(Everything was happening in the 3rd person, I was watching from outside of my body but I still could hear my thoughts)

At the beginning I had my highschool classmates with me (which sometimes happens seeing the current classmates of that time, but in my dreams they always die) we were hanging out somewhere in a building, it was a weird building with like climbing structures or smt I think it was supposed to be a school trip, but that was still normal.

Then suddenly we were on a ship. A sailboat. Pirates of the Carribean style. And we were all dressed in like fancy baroque style dresses and outfits. We were all welcomed by the captain, he was nice, and we got whatever we wanted, it was basically an all-inclusive cruise. There were also like fictional characters there, there was Reyna from HoO (but she was like 2D, looked like the popular fanart version of her that was everywhere online during that time). For some reason a bit later people started rebelling and fighting with the captain, and he started killing us. Either with a sword or throwing people off the ship (Reyna died among the first ones I think). So this fancy boat was now covered in blood. Also the sky got stormy and the sea turned gray and there were like sharks or some sea things in it.

I remember thinking like. Man this was a nice cruise until these people ruined it, and now we're all gonna die. I was sitting there while the captain was mopping up the blood and cleaning the bodies off the deck. And he got near me and was complaining that the dead passengers didn't appreciate his efforts, and how he got us all the outfits and now they were ruined. So I went like: 'Oh yeah and lace is expensive'. And he agreed with me, was like: 'YEAH it really is!'

Some time later the ship stopped, and the captain told us we would all walk the plank. And by then we already knew that when you push someone in that gray water they will perish, like the water will turn black and grab them and they will melt like it's acid. So we knew we were gonna die, if the shark things didn't get us it would be the sea itself. And if we didn't walk the plank he'd just kill us anyways, just with a sword and it would make more mess on the deck. So, since I felt bad for the captain because we could've had a nice cruise and now the people ruined it and he had to mop the blood himself, I agreed I'd walk the plank, so he wouldn't have to clean up after my death too. I mean, we had a mutual understanding that lace was expensive, was I gonna make him bloody up even more of it by killing me by hand? I walked up, I jumped and everything turned slow motion, I didn't fall in the water and die, the water rose up, towards me, and turned golden. I was just sorta flying/levitating there for a bit, and then I sadly woke up

And until this day I still think if the people just enjoyed the cruise they wouldn't have to die, and there wouldn't be so much ruined lace and outfits. Poor captain who was paying for the lace out of his own pocket😞

I decided that I'll try meal prepping again, I used to sorta do that a year ago but didn't pick it back up this school year for some reason

I like to cook once I'm in the mood (or procrastinating on something important), until then I'm basically scavanging on whatever I have available. Or I just don't eat.

I'm (literally) sick of it, I get nauseos or get a headache when I hadn't eaten for too long and once that happens I want to cook even less because now I have to cook with the headache or nausea. I need an emergency something to choke down before I get to this point of hunger

But it has to be something easy I can just grab (+potentially heat up in the microwave) and go, once it's something that requires both a plate and cutlery to eat I will just eat all of it. I'm capable of eating a whole pan of lasagna on my own and then feel sick from it, but with no lesson learned

And sandwich or wrap or snack ideas🥲

As a child I had very poor impulse control, and it made me a bit of a thief a couple times, now looking back at it I feel really bad about it

Exhibit A)
I grew up with a healthnut of a mother and we barely ever had any sweets or goodies in the house, and I was really jealous that seemingly everyone else my age could have a sweet treat but we couldn't (unless we were at our grandparents'), so at like 6 or 7yo, I stole my first thing from the grocery store.

Important to the story is that we lived in a village, there was exactly 1 grocery store and everybody knew everybody (or at least the adults did), the store also didn't have cameras back then, which is probably part of the reason I got away with it. I only stole from there like 3 times, and every time is was this very tiny, cheap, chocolate bar. Tiny as in, about a credit card and a half in size and about twice as thick, it was probably the cheapest thing in the whole candy section. I probably picked it specifically because it was this tiny so I could grab it and pocket it or slide in in my sleeve easily, but I honestly don't remember my childhood reasoning behind this choice.
I would only steal if I was there with my mother, never alone (because the adults never paid attention to me if there were other adults around), I would wait for the cashier to get distracted with a customer, and I would lean into the candy rack and slip the chocolate bar in my pocket or sleeve. My mother never saw, and neither did the cashier, I always ate the chocolate secretly somewhere outside and dispose of the wrapper in a public trash bin.

Exhibit B)
There was a boom in LPS popularity when I was about 7yo, but I only had 1. I was envious of all the girls around me that had more than 1, and I also felt sad because with 1 you can't really share when playing. And then one day, an older girl from my brother's class brought a whole bag of LPS, like a grocery store shopping bag filled to the brim. This girl and her brother were the kind of the kids that would "collect" things because they were currently popular but not really care once the hype dies down, it was sorta well known even amongst us kids that they got everything they wanted. So, when she left this bag in the locker room unattended after bragging about her collection to the whole afteschool club, I took 2 LPS.' Not even ones of the "rare" fancy kind, just 2 basic ones that were on top. I went home with them but after playing for a bit, I got scared. I didn't feel guilty for stealing them, but I was scared of getting in trouble for doing it. Because my parents could notice that I suddenly have something I didn't before, or maybe that my brother could snitch on me to get me in trouble. So, to stop this sense of dread I was feeling, I gave them to my best friend/neighbour and lied that I found them somewhere. She had more LPS' of her own and generally like more toys than me, and her own room, so nobody would notice the new additions. We played with them for years to come.

Exhibit C)
Our elementary school had this program were you could sign up your kids to receive these little milk cartons a couple times per month, I begged my mother to please sign me up for it, I felt left out because everyone else got their strawberry or chocolate milk and I didn't. She refused, said that those milks were "full of chemicals and unhealthy" and a waste of money, because we got healthy (raw) milk from a local lady with a cow.
I hated that I couldn't join everyone else when they got their milk, and I also just wanted to know what it tasted like, so a couple times (maybe like 2 or 3 times) I would wait for all the kids to finish eating lunch and go to their afterschool clubs, and while I was getting ready to go home, if the locker room was empty, I would go to a random kid's locker (they didn't have locks) and if they had a milk carton I liked, I took it and hid it in my backpack and went home. I still remember that after one of my heists, the following day we got a lecture from one of the teachers that stealing is bad and 'somebody' took this boy's milk carton from his locker and he's so upset about it.

Exhibit D)
I was like 12yo, and I was going through souvenir shops during a vacation in Croatia and one of them had these very basic cheap metal butterfly back earrings with a red rhinestones. I didn't even wear earrings at the time, but I liked shiny objects, so I decided to take them. And while I do remember slipping them in my pocket, I also remember having second thoughts about it, and buying something in that shop so there's a real chance I actually secretly returned them and then either bought them or bought something else in there.

Exhibit E)
I started a new school, but missed the first 2 days of it. Which wouldn't matter, nothing much happens in the first 2 days, except the one thing I missed was prepping project sheets for our biology class. It was just some basic stuff with ruler and signing and writing dates and stuff, like in total 2 or 3 project sheets, so it takes a child like an hour to do these. I was the only one who didn't have the sheets prepared and didn't actually even know about them, when we had the first project I felt so embarrassed for not having the sheet ready, that the next time we were going to need them, I was coincidentally the one handing out the signed prepped sheets, and I ended up with an unsigned extra somehow, so I kept it. The classmate who didn't get his sheet was upset and had to make a new one. Well turns out I had his sheet. I found his signature later, after he already started making the new sheet. I didn't tell him, I just carefully erased his name and wrote mine in. I didn't want everyone to think that I took the sheet on purpose and I also didn't want to make a new sheet again because I was slow with the ruler so it would take me really long time

Exhibit F)
We went to this cottage for the weekend, it was sort of airbnb before airbnbs got popular. I was extremely bored and had nothing to do, so I started snooping through the drawers in the common area and I found 2 things I liked: a miniature porcelain teapot and a brooche (I'm pretty certain it was costume jewelry, not an actual valuable piece). I took them. The teapot because I loved these miniatures but I couldn't find them for sale anywhere, and the brooche because I wanted to give it to my mom as a Christmas gift. This was probably the last time I stole something, I was like 12/13yo

I don't know how I had the guts to steal in the first place, but I suppose it helped me that nobody ever suspected me, as I was a very shy, timid and introverted little girl when I started. I had a lot of theft-related intrusive thoughts as a child (and even later throughout highschool) but luckily the ones I carried out were just these little things. Because I did also have the urge to steal a literal fucking infant one day.

Like I was maybe 6, hanging out unsupervised in front of the local preschool building, thinking about how I want a younger sibling I could boss around, and just the logistics of a baby sibling. And then this mom with a sleeping baby in a stroller showed up to pick up her older kid from preschool, and I suppose she didn't want to risk waking the baby up by taking it with her, and didn't want to leave the baby outside alone, so she saw me spinning around the lamp post nearby (watching and plotting), and asked if I could wait with the baby for a couple minutes while she gets her kid. I remember staring at the sleeping baby, thinking to myself how would I take it and where would I hide it, and how I would raise it, and it would listen to me.
Thank god I stuck with petty theft and didn't escalate to kidnapping.

Friends, does anyone know any tips on how to deal with this?

I get hungry but will not eat because I either don't feel like eating or I would have to cook, and I don't want to cook because I get paralysed by having to choose what to cook. SO I just wait until an appetite miraculously descends upon me. I also use food as motivator that I will eat after -a thing- is done but then it sometimes means I just don't eat for hours because I'm still not done. There are times when I don't eat until I get a headache, because I just forget and the headache reminds me

It's an everyday thing atp, and even if I do have something ready that I could eat immediately that requires minimal to no effort, I still just don't eat because my brain is like: Well we'll eat later, we are too busy right now

I'm at a loss here, because then there are also times when I have food prepared and I suddenly eat like a locust even past point of feeling full, because 'Well the food is already here and ready, lets eat it'

It's like I can only eat like a normal person if the stars align, it's getting annoying