Struggling to reconcile Buddhism and self-improvement
I've been watching Dr. K's content for a year or two now, on and off, and it has greatly helped me in various things in life- as it probably did for many of you here. However, there's something that has been troubling me the last few weeks and I just can't seem to shake it off.
From what I understand, one of the core teachings of Buddhism is that desire is the source of suffering. Our desire to be rich causes us pain when the economy tanks. Our desire to be more attractive is only temporarily satisfied when we gain muscle in the gym- causing us to crave an even more attractive physique, trapping us in a loop of unsatisfaction and shifting goalpoasts.
That is, of course, very wise- and has helped me gain a more positive, relaxed attitude towards many things in life, and taught me to let go of things.
The one thing that has come to bother me greatly, however, is that this applies to *all* desire. Including my desire for a loving family, my desire to create something useful for humanity. My desire to know more about the universe, about my friends, about myself. My desire to improve as a human, to be healthy, to give my future children a better world.
According to Buddhism, so long as I desire the things above, I will not be at peace. But I think that if I let go of these desires, nothing good will come of it. Inevitably, I will care less about all of the things above, and put less effort into realizing these things. If I truly let go of wanting to improve, I fear my life will take a turn for the worse. Is attaining peace truly worth forsaking all of the things above?
I understand that theoretically, a truly enlightened person will be able to do everything above while not desiring any of it. But practically speaking, I find it very very unlikely to happen to me- just like I started going a bit less to the gym when I let go of my obsession about my looks. I am only human, and I fear that if I let go of these things, then my already lacking motivation to self-improve will be snuffed out like a candle.
This leads me to the question- how can one truly claim to be self improving, while letting go of the desire to self improve at the same time? Can you truly seek to better yourself in the physical sense (wanting a family, wanting to contribute to society etc) while letting go of physical desire at the same time? I feel like getting out of the 21st century comfort zone of doomscrolling and weed is already hard enough even when I desire to get out of it, so trying to get out of it without wanting to is just simply impractical (for me).
I'm sorry, I meant this to be shorter but I guess I had to write this out. Thank you for reading if you got this far :)
Tl;dr - if Buddhism is (at least partly) about letting go of desire, must I let go of the desire to self-improve?