u/MelodyOfDays

I (32F) have been posting often these days because I’m really struggling. Thank you in advance if you read this 🥹. A rant.

My husband can’t tolerate long conversations due to his intense migraines and his illness. I CAN’T tell him about my frustrations. It‘ll only make things worse for me because his condition worsens.

Anyways, I asked his hands-off family to help me find caregivers for the weekend that I’ll be away. I already found a few but then one family member said their ‘friend’ owns an agency. They asked what my husbands needs were, but didn’t have any information about pricing. I told them agencies are expensive and we’ll need to know about that first. Neither of us can work so money is limited.

I then told my husband that it‘s not helpful if I end up having to call the agency myself. I’m already interviewing people this week. He then proceeds to scold me and go on a rant about how it’s always me vs. his family. How I make it into a competition when they ‘try’ to help. Trying to help and ACTUALLY helping are two different things. If it adds to my plate then it’s not help at all.

He has always agreed that they haven’t been hands on. He gives them credit when they try and I get his shitty ass attitude when I’m actually doing everything. My use of the word ‘credit’ sparked the whole competition rant. He’ll try to be understanding by saying “it’s unfair that you have to take care of me but it’s also unfair that I got sick. Nothing is fair” 🙄

Has anyone dealt with this? Do you just hold it all in and scream into the void? It makes me want to leave this situation, but then he’ll go and say that it’s his biggest fear. Saying that he’ll die if I leave him. I’m so over it, but I’m stuck. It’s hell.

Hello everyone,

I (32F) have decided to take a month to travel with my parents and brother six months from now. I’ve been on a 24/7 shift for two years and really need to get out of the house. I haven’t seen my family in over two years due to being in a different country. I’ve been feeling guilty about not being able to spend time with my parents as they are getting older.

Although his family doesn’t help with care, we live with his mom and sister. My husband is completely bedridden and requires special care because he is immunocompromised, has bouts of severe scream inducing pain, and is very light and sound sensitive.

Here are some things I am prepping/ have prepped for my time away:

- Looking for and training caregivers over multiple shifts. I’ll make a Schedule that covers all days.

- Made a step-by-step caregiving binder with details of our routine, info on his condition, meds, his preferences, how to complete hygiene tasks etc.

- Will provide a way for them to contact me if needed.

- Will train at least one family member in case there’s an unexpected gap in care.

My husband is extremely anxious about this. I am very worried about him, but I also need to do this. I hear myself screaming in my head that I need a break (maybe I’m going nuts lol). I want to be as prepared as possible as I don’t want anything bad to happen while I’m gone.

Is there something I’m missing? What would you prep if you were taking a break?

Thanks in advance for your wisdom! 🫶

Context: I care for my chronically ill husband. His family is pretty hands off but we live with MIL.

MIL went to a fortune teller. She came back and told me that my husband and I don’t belong together. She said our zodiac signs aren’t compatible. She kept saying that bad things will happen if we stay together. Unfortunately, she got my sign wrong.

I’m confused as to what she wanted the outcome to be. If that was my zodiac sign, did she think that we would get a divorce? and if we did, who would care for him? She obviously wouldn’t.

What would you have said??

Hi everyone,

I (32F) am caring for my husband who has a post-viral illness that has rendered him completely bedbound. Apparently there is a (small) genetic component to it, but anyone can get it (partly depends on the state of your immune system when you get a virus).

Anyways, he talks about having kids when he’s better. The possibility of fully recovering is very low and it could take years. He mentioned that I should consider freezing my eggs. I think it’s a good option since we’re not sure what will happen, but I’m starting to not want kids with him. It sounds messed up when I type this, but I can’t imagine going through this with kids if they get sick and become totally incapacitated. I still love him, but I feel trapped with his illness. I’m not sure how to navigate this. I don’t want to bring it up now because stress worsens his condition.

I guess I just needed to share my thoughts somewhere. Have you ever thought about this? Thank you for reading 🥹