u/Material-Recover2661

Backstory: My MIL didn’t wanted my daughter be born , she was 5th pregnancy but first one we thought we would bring home not in urn but healthy baby because my son passed away in preterm. My MIL told my husband that miscarriage should happen if it were to happen it will hurt less and later multiple occasions told me to consider notnto have kids and just enjoy childless life. Even when adoption was put on table because we were considering and i was given very short window to even have a kid . Miracle baby is 11 months now and same baby now she demands stuff and steals her major milestone from me. So this is for just success for me because i didn’t had to follow orders and share a day that defined my journey to motherhood from 4 miscarriages then almost dying from sepsis and then finally having a beautiful baby . My MIL did no help instead harrassment with passive aggressive behavior and comments towards me like she will take my daughter away if i divorce my husband, mid you she said this 7 days PP. later yelling at me because her son was upset at her . And many other harrassment behavior.

My FIL asked my husband to take his mother to brunch place she wanted to go on Mother’s day and i was pretty upset that i wasn’t even considered in the plan and he didn’t wven ask my husband if he think i would be interested but implied he should. I told my husband stern no that im not sharing my day and she isn’t my mother. She already took so many milestones from me she won’t take this from me . He later told me initially he didn’t realize but he agreed that its my first Mother’s Day and i shouldn’t be expected to share.

So he declined, and told his parents he has plans for me and we will do brunch some other day. I heard disappointment in his moms voice because she wanted and she knew he might not say no to his dad but he did . So her new obsession is taking my daughter to swimming pool. I am delaying as much as i could because i want swimming lessons instead relying on lunatic In laws.

But for Mothers day i did celebrate with my daughter, we had breakfast and then we went to shop carters and picked some cute stuff for her and came home and relaxed.

Did i love it , heck ya 🙌🏻 i just wanted a family moment and i had it.

It is clear success. And i knew she was pretty grumpy but pretended she understands.

I am 11 months PP this week i was always low supplier at 9 months onwards i started supplementing with formula because i couldn’t make enough and daycare sickness took toll on me i am nonstop sick from months i barely get a week and im sick again . Last time i was nonstop sick for 3.5 weeks cough congestion and could barely breathe i couldn’t take meds because i was pumping and mucinex didn’t work any better i let it take its course but this time i gave up.

I gave up pumping the moment my daughter got sick i stopped pumping to 1 time a day then alternating days but since im sick since last week i did only one pump.

I have immense guilt i could reach 1 year mark and abruptly stopping. But i had swollen throat, ear infections this is my 4th ear infection this year, cough bad ones. Finally i went to get checked and indeed i have bad inflammation and i was goven steroid shot and amoxicillin to fight the infection.

I am glad my inflammation will be reduced but i have guilt i stopped early.

Just looking for some moral support here. I swear i did good until 6-7 months but my supply went down and since i started getting sick i couldn’t eat and keep up along with work household and caring for my daughter.

I was overwhelmed but i bet many of other moms are too and i just gave up. I might be selfish here to feel better myself and didn’t suck it up .

I am just feeling guilty right now

I always thought i must have missed something with her to not reach crawling milestone, i should have done more tummy time and had this guilt so logn . Seeing other kids in her daycare walking and crawling even younger than her but today she did 2 things.

All of sudden she started crawling when right a min ago i said ahe might crawl any day and secondly she almost stood up on her own holding me and her playpen.

I couldn’t feel more proud of her ♥️🥹🥹🥹🥹

I am so sorry everyone, i just made realize that i am being selfish by one of the person who responded to my venting. I thought this sub was just for that and now i jsut cant stop crying thinking im being “me me me” the exact word by the commentor called me exhausting . Im not here for that im just here because i have no support except my husband my parents live in another country im all alone here , i have no friends that i can talk this about so i post here frequently never thought it would make me feel more horrible about myself. I am so sorry. I am just here to share which i cant share with anyone else . Man that person you did your job whoever you were made me feel like shit now and i just cant stop crying.

I am mom to 4 angel babies including my son who was born and passed away shortly after birth.

After 4 miscarriages now i have a daughter she is 10.5 months old. I suffered miscarriages, sepsis, PTSD post sepsis , PPA PPD because how inwas treated by my IN LAWS. Its all there in my profile its a mess .

My MIL always made things about her , she stole my daughters first solid experience, she stole my gift ideas for my daughter and now mothers day.

Enough is enough, i endured pain and suffering to have my daughter. I put myself through a lot .

Even if i ignore what my in laws did how can they expect me to share my first mothers day after so much loss . I have daughters, last 2 mothers day i would go in store and break down in tears thinking of my son , what he would have done, how i would have celebrated with him and my MIL has another son but why all expectations from us.

I flipped this morning when my husband told me his dad asked about taking his mom to brunch on mother’s day.

I flipped and said stern no and told him he can go but I won’t. She is not my mother so its not my mothers day. I want to celebrate with my daughter at home may be go store buy flowers together for my sons memory table like we always do . And habe brunch with her. We had heated argument but i am not adjusting this time. I am not at all.

If you read my past experience i have been put through emotional stress and anxiety caused me PPD . It made me paranoid for months.

Am i overreacting??? My husband said he will say no he just wanted to run pass this idea by me but since he didn’t get anything for her might be quick run . I still said no because i will be the one who won’t have happy day because she will makenit about herself.

I recommend a day before or after but not that day and also said this isnt her first mothers day either and she has celebrated 34 sonfar so she can miss a day this time and celebrate on another day.

Am i rude ? Am i overreacting?

EDIT : MY HUSBAND SAID NO TO HIS DAD . He has my back but i think they are trying to guilt trip him and manipulate him. And he feels confused and needs me to validate what we should donas family. He has gone LC with his parents because they caused me Anxiety and we have agreed they aren’t good influences around our daughter. He supports me fully but just mad his dad demands without even thinking once or asking him about his plans.

Good for him 😅 otherwise i would have flipped more but i know he loves me and chooses me but the request made me flip in a sec