Do you ever feel like your body does things you don't want it to do?
I'll be shaving my beard, and I'll have to FIGHT the intrusive thought to shave off my eyebrows. I'll be cooking on the stovetop and I need to restrain my hand from just touching the pan because "haha it'd be so silly to just feel the hot pan". Or relaxing with my partner and suddenly I'll tickle them and feel bad immediately after because like why must I be silly when I just want to relax and be calm.
I feel like I need to go back on my ADHD medications, because the side effects were manageable compared to the inability to do tasks I want to do, while doing things I wish I wouldn't do.
I just feel like that bluey scene where it's "why can't you do what your told" and the other dog just says "I don't know" because I just wish my brain would work right.
https://youtube.com/shorts/3Nzn7X378C4 this scene, for those who don't watch bluey... It just hits home way too much and encourages me to try to improve myself.