u/Malkavianxiii

I’ve been thinking about HRT for a long time now, but I genuinely don’t know when the “right” time is, and I feel like not doing anything is starting to mess with me mentally.

For context, I’m in the UK and still living with my parents, although I pay for most of my own stuff like food and personal expenses. I recently quit my job because of many reasons but being taken off my meds made it a lot harder , and right now my BMI is too low for certain prescriptions, so everything feels kind of unstable at the moment. Finding another job or moving out feels really difficult in my current state.

Part of why I’m struggling so much is because I think dysphoria is affecting me way more than I used to realise. My confidence is awful, my mental health is awful, and interacting with people feels exhausting. I hate being perceived half the time, even stuff like eye contact makes me uncomfortable. I don’t think dysphoria is the cause of all my issues, but I do think it plays a really big role in them.

The main thing that makes me think this is probably gender-related is that I remember going to a convention once and cosplaying as a character that felt much closer to how I actually wanted to look/be. I remember feeling genuinely confident in a way I honestly haven’t really felt since. Looking back on it, that feeling stuck with me a lot more than I realised.

I know HRT isn’t a magic button that suddenly fixes your life or mental health, and I’m not expecting that. But I do think it could help me feel more comfortable with myself and improve my quality of life at least somewhat.

The biggest issue is my family situation.

My mum reacted badly even to stuff like earrings and nail polish at first, although she eventually got used to it. There were also a few comments that made me really uneasy. My dad mostly just ignores it, so I honestly can’t tell what he thinks. That’s part of why I’m so conflicted, because sometimes I feel like they probably already know on some level. Looking back, there were a lot of obvious signs. But I can’t tell if they’d eventually accept it or if they’d be completely against it.

I think most of my wider family probably wouldn’t support it though.

Another issue is access to care. I’d most likely have to DIY because UK waiting lists are terrible and I can’t afford private right now