u/Low_Gap_467

Note before I go deeper: summarized with AI so it’s not a whole essay + this is highkey probably the wrong sub for this post. Here we go:

I’m a 15-year-old high school freshman with autism. I’ve basically had zero friends my whole life — no social media (mom forbids it, I made this account in secret) extremely heavy school + club schedule (50 hours a week), and I’m very isolated. A few weeks ago I finally got the number of a girl I liked (Lets call her M). We sat together in class, walked after school once, she giggled at my texts, gave me a compliment, and blushed when I suggested going to a creek spot. I got really excited because she was basically my only human connection.

 I went pretty hard/fast — suggesting hangs, remembering little things (like her missing NC), even printed a nice photo I took myself as a gift. My entire pre-law class (and the teacher, gave me 20 dollars to buy her something) kept hyping me up and pushing me to ask her out quickly, which made me escalate even more. Then she sent me this text: “Hey so like can you no follow me and K anymore because we want to hangout with just us and it’s nothing against you we just want alone time.”I respected it, deleted the chat, and haven’t texted her. (Note: K is M’s best friend)

But I’m completely spiraling. I can’t stop thinking about her, I stayed up all night, I’m dreading Monday because I sit right in front of her in one class, and K is in my intense club with me so I have to see her all summer too.I know I came on too strong. I know I missed social cues. But this rejection feels crushing because she was literally my only social thing. Is this limerence? Is this normal for autistic people with no friends? How do I survive the last 2 weeks of school without making it weirder? Any advice for handling this while being extremely isolated?

Note before I go deeper: summarized with AI so it’s not a whole essay + this is highkey probably the wrong sub for this post. Here we go:

I’m a 15-year-old high school freshman with autism. I’ve basically had zero friends my whole life — no social media (mom forbids it, I made this account in secret) extremely heavy school + club schedule (50 hours a week), and I’m very isolated. A few weeks ago I finally got the number of a girl I liked (Lets call her M). We sat together in class, walked after school once, she giggled at my texts, gave me a compliment, and blushed when I suggested going to a creek spot. I got really excited because she was basically my only human connection.

 I went pretty hard/fast — suggesting hangs, remembering little things (like her missing NC), even printed a nice photo I took myself as a gift. My entire pre-law class (and the teacher, gave me 20 dollars to buy her something) kept hyping me up and pushing me to ask her out quickly, which made me escalate even more. Then she sent me this text: “Hey so like can you no follow me and K anymore because we want to hangout with just us and it’s nothing against you we just want alone time.”I respected it, deleted the chat, and haven’t texted her. (Note: K is M’s best friend)

But I’m completely spiraling. I can’t stop thinking about her, I stayed up all night, I’m dreading Monday because I sit right in front of her in one class, and K is in my intense club with me so I have to see her all summer too.I know I came on too strong. I know I missed social cues. But this rejection feels crushing because she was literally my only social thing. Is this limerence? Is this normal for autistic people with no friends? How do I survive the last 2 weeks of school without making it weirder? Any advice for handling this while being extremely isolated?