u/Long-Dragonfly8785

▲ 6 r/UpfrontCheaters+1 crossposts

how I found out my ex fiancé cheated

how I found out about my ex FIANCE had cheated. not once but to many times to count.

flashback time: its roughly 2018, im working as a manger for dollar tree at this point. I was closing one night and this tall skinny man comes into my store, I can see he had a few to drink but iim still polite for the public. this man lets call Joe, finds me in the store and starts asking questions like where he could find some items. I help him, I cash him out, now he's talking to much (probably tipsy lol). I don't really remember word for word of what we talked about, but at some point he's crying. he's emotional due to his baby mama drama. Now I did NOT ask him about it but I listened and gave random advice to a stranger. I also thought he was kinda cute, and the way he was talking like he was single. At some point that night he came back, he says "im sorry I thought you're really cute and I couldn't stop thinking about you and I also told my brother about you."

now im really confused at this point, he's mumbling and slurring and flirting with me, some how that night I ended up agreeing to meet up with Joe and his brother (call him josh) after my shift. Again he had been drinking and I've been smiling and nodding. it's the end of shift, I meet up with them and pick them up for them to ask to go to the strip club. first time meeting Joe that night and then I met josh when I picked them. apparently josh was treating Joe out again due to BMD.

The whole car ride I pretty much ignored Josh, and was showing my interest in Joe, not knowing he was still in a relationship. we get to the strip club get seated, the shot girl happened to be my BFF since 07'; that way I wasn't COMPLETELY left with strangers. when we sat down, josh sat across from me and we locked eyes. at that moment then I KNEW josh was mine. since that night at the club, josh and I would spend literally EVERYDAY with each other for the next month or so. he was MY perfect. I met his son and he ended up meeting mine. and thats when our wolf pack was made. Literally nothing could go wrong.

fast forward to roughly 1.5-2 years in, were engaged!!! I didn't believe in marriage until I had him. UNTIL closer to the 2 years things became rocky. petty fighting bickering back and forth. it came out of no where. turns out after losing his job he decided to start sniffing snow bunny. through out this rough time I would receive MANY random texts from a few people. first one was his BM. I thought she was trying to put a wedge between us when she told the TEA on this man. so as a typical woman, I ignored her and her threats. I didn't care.

random text from a woman I never heard of. when I asked her for proof she could only provide one photo, so with that, I also ignored. after going back and forth with her, josh assured me that she was a 420 friend. (thats basically the photo she shared, them sitting in our room passing the ZA.) I believed him, but was skeptical.

UNTIL...... our last week together. I received yet ANOTHER random message. this time it was on FB. when I opened these messages, my heart stopped. I didn't know how to process this. it was from a MAN. and it goes as followed "hi hon, im sorry I didn't know about you, but did you know you mans trying to EFF me in your room while our kids are asleep next door."

bruh. how do I respond? I ignored im at first, then got the courage to respond. and I do so by saying, "who are you talking about? idk you." then he gets all out of pocket and calling me a dumb ass whore for not knowing. and that he was going to call CPS on ME for not being a good mother watching them properly while he's out dogging me, then proceeded to send me their HOME MADE videos. mind you, I do. not judge, I loved him so much I explored with him, started eating his ars then it got to the point where he asked to be pegged. I was more than happy to please him. so in my mind, I was the best of both worlds.

well a few days after that, we took the kids to bowl (basically our backyard had a fence that went to the bowling alley). I still haven't said anything to josh, acting like EVERYTHING was okay. UNTIL the ending, yes we drank, we only had to walk 100 ft home. on the walk home I saw him talking to a group of MEN. and I lost It. I called him out by saying, " you trying to hook up with your boyfriends tonight? gang bang?" I was out of pocket for saying and acting the way I did in front of the kids, thats my ONLY regret.

yea, unfortunately he didn't think that was funny. lots of screaming and denying. Obviously he was embarrassed or mad he was caught. we go back and forth LOUDLY, that someone had already called in to the popos of disturbance. it was at this point where im so mad and had to much to drink, I black out the next 5 minutes. I come too seeing our boys screaming and crying in fear, josh in handcuffs, and I was crawling on the ground I couldn't get up. Thats when the officers started telling me what happened. Apparently, he had swung on me, hit my eye, my glasses fly off my face, I severely twisted my leg/ankle by tripping over a tree root, the rest of me was covered in scraps and cuts. the officers has shown up in JUST enough time. (I ended up in crutches and super swollen eye, and I was also starting my NEW job that week :) )

mind you, my adrenaline was flying as well as my ABL, I HAD NO IDEA I JUST BEEN BEAT. my poor kids witnessed it all (3 and 4 at the time). all because I called his cheating gay ass out. idk maybe he just couldn't admit he's into men too?! regardless, we are free from him. I have the best partner I could ask for of the past 3.5 years with a baby on the way. :)

thanks for your time on this NOW laughable event. carry on.

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u/Long-Dragonfly8785 — 1 day ago
▲ 3 r/Amitheassholeadvice+1 crossposts

AITA friend for cutting off BFF since 2007?!

asking for a friend, AITA friend for 'ghosting/cut off' my MAIN 1 BFF. ( now im 30f, she's 31) context, we met in 7th grade, we had a small group of friends that we were considered the weird kids or losers in school. thats what made us so close, me who never gave a shit what anybody has to say (when family hurts you first, irrelevant humans can not add damage.) almost everyday the "mean girls" of school always had something to bully us by. I used their voices to become stronger for our group. I had become my girls protector. not only am I about 5' taller than her ( I stand at a whopping 5 ft even, she's a petite lady) we had some similar backgrounds that grew us closer.

ex.) she had only one parent raising her and her older brother because their other parent chose to walk away and drink/drugs. she had it pretty rough with not only being small but she was under the strict rules of her present parent, not ever going to school events, no sleep overs at other houses etc.

but that didn't stop us from growing. around this time AOL (aim) was hoooooot. (with my free dial up 😂) we were still able to communicate almost daily.

fast forward to high school, inseparable we are. everyone knew us at this point, if we weren't walking to class together, wed get asked where our other person is. we would skip class all the time, walk to get us some coffees and not have a care in the world. we were such baboons together we even got kicked out of chorus and told we weren't allowed to preform at this next concert. we didn't care, we sat there laughing the world away.

yay fun stuff we graduated together, went to all the parties she finally was granted freedom to start staying out at. night. we totally abused that freedom. most nights we went out, we would stumble into my house cocked off our rears between 3-5 am. some nights my short ass had to carry hers because she couldn't walk . (the most funniest moments)

more time passes, I go to school for primal justice I also have my first child around this time. Unfortunately she was not made the godmother and that upset her. ( she doesn't even like kids but put up with mine) this was our first petty fight. (not worth talking about I haven't even got to the year 2025 yet) she goes to beauty school.

due to having my child at 20 I paused school and started working my next big career. Horticulture. I was the fastest employer to go from no knowledge to becoming a head grower. she didn't care, at the time she was against 420. Unfortunately, I always ended up smelling like the plants (best smell ever), she couldn't stand the smell so we hung out less, but snapped DAILY.

she finally meets her Mr. right. I couldn't be anymore happy for her( took her almost 27 years to land a bf, so yes I was thrilled.) great guy treats her like a queen she deserves. after a year of them together she moves 1 hr 30mins away from me. I move in with my partner. I drove many times to see her and her new place( they have 3 cats- this is important to know.) when I moved into mine, I had a 10gallon fish tank ONE cat and a caged ferret. NOT once has she attempted to come visit me and lil family, mind you I live 20 mins from her parents home that she travels to either every weekend or other weekend. she always told me "there's to many animals in the house." or "its too far" "ya know im not the biggest fan of your partner" (they didn't need to be home for her to swing through) or its " no offense but your kids kind of an ass, this is the perfect birthcontol watching how they are." etc.

yes, my child is kinda of an ass, but im only allowed to point that out, he's also on the spectrum and medicated, so half of it is NOT my Childs fault. yes she was well aware of his needs too.

NOOW finally comes the day my girl is supposed to get married. growing up we always talked about our weddings. typical girl talk. OFC im over the moon for her and this magical time, her bff helping with the wedding. well it didn't happen like that. as I tell her let me know what I can do if anything to help, she's stringing me along, "yes ofc, working out the deets and let you know."

another long story short, she hits me with " we want a small justice of the peace, with either 2-4 witnesses plus photos". im think, 'sweet, if she doesn't ask me to be her MOH or BM I can at least do her photos' as I do small photography on the side. NOPE, boy was I wrong. I was just someone to vent too and cry too. she TOLD me, 'im not having my friends there just my brother and parent, and same for husband." okay sure not a problem for me....UNTIL after the ceremony about a week or two after, she's overly excited to tell me everything. and she slips up the fact she had ANOTHER friend there to 'just help get ready' for the wedding, and take photos on their iPhone. yes ofc I felt some type of way because she WASNT going to tell me about this other friend there, I squeezed t out of her by saying " oh that was nice of some strangers taking photos of y'all" she replied with " oh no that was so and so...(paused for sec, realized her mistake).. ya know because she's closer and what not." ( this other girl and I live the same distance the opposite direction. I congratulated them, so happy for them and haven't talked to them in a whole year. no birthday texts or holidays, straight silence. that was the straw on the camels back for me.

does that make me TAF? asking for a friend. me and my child are that friend. lmk.

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u/Long-Dragonfly8785 — 14 hours ago