u/Local_Tradition_4834

I used to like working out a lot and getting stronger. But I just don’t really see a point anymore.

I liked the idea of camping and stuff but now it’s like… actually that kinda sounds exhausting and maybe boring as well.

I’m lesbian but I can’t see myself successfully maintaining a relationship. A relationship just seems like a lot of work. I do think I am more successful with women than men when it comes to relationships because men just don’t like me whereas women do. But either way a relationship is a lot of responsibility and it kind of makes me feel tired thinking about it.

So I’m kinda stuck in this situation where all my hobbies and interests I liked before I just don’t care about anymore.

The only thing I like right now is piano. But I don’t even have a piano yet so maybe it’s all in my head that I like it. And maybe when I get a piano I won’t even like it… I’m getting a piano on Sunday.

Even if I did like the piano, I don’t think having this would be enough for me to want to stay alive.

I heard someone say “that’s girl math” I even heard a woman say the term “dumb blonde”.

Yet I didn’t say “those terms are misogynistic”… I just looked the other way because it was easier.

I’m just mad at myself, but wondering if there even is a point in correcting these people. Wondering if anyone can relate to me also.

I won’t be finding a provider husband anymore (I wouldn’t have been able to even if I was straight lol).

Now I will die khhv like the rest of us here. But this is the better option for me.

I just can’t do it. I can’t be straight, I just don’t have those feelings for men.

Like big hairy bush, hairy legs, hairy arms, hairy armpits??

I’m a really hairy lady if I don’t shave so I would like to know.

I think the universe wants me to end my life because it’s protecting me from what’s to come in the future.

I also keep getting glimpses of what it will be like when I’m dead. 2 nights ago I had a dream and the next morning, that exact thing came true (with some minor things being different).

Then then yesterday I told myself I would get a dream about what the future would be.

Then I get a dream of the end of the world… and it was extremely hard to watch.

I really really don’t want to go through that. It was crazy… people missing limbs… people cut in half, their organs sticking out. There was a dark reddish glow in the atmosphere, and some smog.

It’s not like it matters anyways, we all have to die in the end. But I don’t want to experience that pain.

I always felt a connection to the universe.

I also know for a fact that everytime I have a gut feeling about something, I’m right about it.

Whether it will be the end of the world, or just something that will singularly just effect me (aka something extremely painful/lots of suffering I will go through) is unknown and not an important detail (to me at least).

But my dream…. Says otherwise

I think I might have been reading too many conspiracy theories but I think the world is going to end soon.

I don’t wanna sound dramatic and all but I lowkey wanna end it before this happens but idk.

I think we all know the end of the world is going to be painful if you aren’t a billionaire living in a bunker.