u/Leading_Painter8463

In Gen Z in the west, the average woman has an easier life than the average man in many aspects in my view.

The gender pay gap is rapidly closing, and nowadays, among Gen Z men/women in the UK and US, women earn similarly to men and have a similar employment rate. Iirc, tho I may be wrong.

Additionally, social norms have improved a lot, so catcalling/harassment are declining.

All discriminatory laws (e.g. forbidding women from property ownership) have been repealed, and restrictive cultural values (e.g. slut shaming) are no longer common.

Thus, I would argue most of the historical disadvantages women may have faced have been nullified.

I further argue that, among Gen Z in the west, women have a lot of advantages over men. It is much easier for women to find romance and dates due to hypergamy, as we see from dating app statistics. This means women do not have to worry nearly as much about that aspect of life, and do not have to feel loneliness or unmet sexual needs the same way many men do.

Further to this, female attractiveness is based on things which are highly flexible (e.g. makeup routine, gym, skincare) whereas male attractiveness is largely based on immutable genetic factors such as height and bone structure. This means unattractive/average-looking women not only do not face exclusion from romance like unattractive/average-looking men do, but they can also easily change their attractiveness whereas men find it harder to do so. The majority of women are deemed attractive by the majority of men, whereas the majority of men are deemed unattractive to women.

Moreover, women also benefit from many DEI schemes such as “Women in STEM”, “Women in Law”, “Women in Finance”, etc which improve their chances of securing internships and job opportunities compared to men.

Men are generally expected to still shoulder the finances in things like dating and family finances, whereas most women can easily get lavish food and drink for free from strangers. Whenever I check my cousins’ or friends’ stories, for example, I see ornate desserts and steaks that I could never dream of consuming despite having money.

Furthermore, female emotional expression is encouraged and accepted in society, whereas most men cannot even open up to their friends and family without being ridiculed or dismissed.

Further to this, as a POC male and a lifelong victim of racism, I believe POC women don’t suffer from racism as much as POC men do (on average). Racism against POC women exists, but it does not seem to generally be as pervasive, dehumanising, and violent as racism against POC men.

This isn’t to negate the struggles women have faced throughout history. I would agree that, due to patriarchal social norms, women generally had much worse lives on average for the majority of human history. This fact still persists in some regions of the world, outside the west.

However, I am simply arguing that this is no longer the case in the modern west. Women get to have new rules which nullify their prior disadvantages, but men are still bound by the rules of the 18th century.

Truth be told, if I could pick my sex again, I would 100% choose to be born a woman rather than a man.

I don’t really have a “solution” to this because we must agree that the emancipation of women was a GOOD thing for humanity and we can’t reverse it. But Yh.

I am open to hearing your disagreements, and would be happy to be proven wrong. I don’t really discuss these topics with women irl, so if I am misguided that would be why.

Never had a gf, getting VERY worried (20M)

I’m 20 years old and in uni in the UK. Most things are going ok for me, in terms of grades, friendships, and internships. But I have never had a sexual or romantic relationship with a woman. Not even a date.

I’ve never really been interested in a girl like that and asked her out, nor has any girl directly expressed interest in me (some of them want to hang out with me sometimes, but I take that as purely platonic unless stated otherwise).

Background:
5’7.5, average-looking, skinny fat, socially awkward (possible autism/ADHD), attended a boys’ school until I was 19 so struggled with even basic socialisation with girls for a long time. It’s only recently that I have even had platonic friendships with women. I also commute to my uni from home, so I barely ever have time to attend parties or social events of any kind.

I think this paints a clear picture of why I don’t have a girlfriend; I’m in a position that makes it quite difficult. I’m trying to really improve myself by looksmaxxing, going to the gym, and developing social skills but idk if I will ever be enough given the clear immutable flaws (autism, short height, average looks) I have. I genuinely believe there may be 0 women on the planet who would like me, no matter what I do.

My South Asian parents and even some of my friends keep saying I should just get an arranged marriage if I can’t get a gf; that thought seems horrifying since I would rather die single than settle or be settled for just for things like money and assets.

For now I’m going to lose fat, do skincare, fix my teeth, get contact lenses, grow out my hair, build muscle, and use gum to train my jaw.

If these methods don’t lead to my desired outcomes, I may even be willing to undergo plastic surgery around the age of 25 or so. Jaw implants to make my jaw more angular, rhinoplasty for my broad nose, zygo fillers to add definition etc.

I’m also trying to improve my social skills, and trying to work through my mental health by getting diagnoses and going to therapy soon.

But I sometimes get the distinct feeling that, even if I do all of that, I will still never be enough for any reasonable woman. Like just saying that I’m 20 years old and a virgin who doesn’t even understand the concept of love makes me feel immature and abnormal.

Most of my friends are in a similar position to me (most of them having been on only a date or two at most), but I don’t know if that’s a good sample because many of them seem autistic and/or introverted. Looking around my uni campus, the street, or on social media, I see so many couples and I feel abnormal for not having anyone at this big age.

I feel like, at this rate, I’m already close to becoming like those 40 year old virgins who die alone.

I’ve stopped expecting a relationship and have been trying to make peace with the fact that I may die alone. There are so many things that give me satisfaction in life outside of romance/sexuality, such as my career ambitions, food, my friendships, gaming, cinema, travel etc.

But it still gnaws deeply at my soul whenever I see happy families and couples walking about. Knowing that’s what I want deep down but will probably never have, given that I already made it to 20 without even coming close. How do I navigate these feelings?

20M. The advice many men give me is to get a fit and athletic physique with low body fat, rather than becoming skinny.

But do women actually care about that (all other factors constant) or is it a waste of time where I could just get the same result by just losing 10kg and becoming skinny? Like would having bigger biceps or whatnot actually have value to women, or is it just male gaze?

Like, I know just going straight up skinny would make my face look lean. So would I actually gain any advantage by spending time in the gym building muscle before leaning out, as opposed to just dieting heavily to become skinny within a few months?

I know becoming lean will make my face look better, and that face is the most important factor. I’m just also trying to determine if there are additional returns to becoming lean muscular on top of that, as opposed to just becoming skinny.

EDIT: in terms of PHYSICAL attraction