Mean Woman at Conference Lunch
Back in 2014, as someone who was involved in the publishing industry at that time, I attended a large, 5-day book exhibition at the Javits Center in Manhattan. It was basically a conference where distribution deals were made, involving publishers, authors, and distributors. There were also seminars geared towards author representation, and other topics. There were probably around 1000+ attendees every day.
During a 5-minute break between seminars, I was standing in a hallway checking my phone, when I saw a nice looking woman walk by. I smiled at her and gave a little nod, which is not an uncommon thing for me to do, especially since I was single at the time. She held my gaze for a moment, and then looked away without smiling. It wasn’t a big deal, I just figured she was in her own zone. I attended my next seminar, and then we broke for lunch.
As is usual with these kinds of events, there was a rush as attendees tried to get lunch during the 45-minute window between seminars, and there weren’t quite enough tables and chairs to accommodate everyone.
I had made a couple of friends during the first day of the conference and usually had lunch with them, but they hadn’t attended this particular day and so I was on my own. I grabbed some food and a drink, and was looking around for a seat, but all tables were fully occupied. A few people ate while standing off to the side.
Then I spotted a woman eating alone at a two-person table. I went over and immediately recognized her as the one I had smiled at earlier.
“Hi, do you mind if I join you?” I asked. She responded with the dirtiest look I’ve ever experienced in my adult life, one of pure disdain. I'm not sure if it was because of my earlier smile, or if she simply wanted to be alone. But hogging a table where there is a shortage of seats is not something reasonable people do.
In that moment, I had to make a decision: leave without a word, and find somewhere to eat standing up, which would have been awkward, considering I also had a drink in one hand. Or, sit with her anyway, despite her unwelcoming attitude, which would be an even worse choice. I chose a compromise. I said “Thank you,” while grabbing the chair and rotating it 180-degrees. I sat down with my back to her, and ate with my plate on my lap.
I suppose in her defence, since I had smiled at her earlier, it might have looked as if I was hitting on her, and she might not have wanted to be bothered. But I was in the unenviable position of having no other place to sit and enjoy my lunch. In any case, during that split-second of considering my options, I made what I thought was the best response to her rudeness: showing her my back. I’m sure it appeared strange to any onlookers, but in that moment it felt pretty good. When I finished eating, I turned the chair back around and left without glancing at her.
Petty? Yes. Childish? Perhaps. Worth it? Absolutely.
Edit: There's an incredible amount of low-effort, jump-to-conclusions post here, I'll try to summarize:
- "It happened x years ago! She's living rent-free in the guy's head!" Check out 90% of the threads on Pettyrevenge, and you'll see similar, including posts that go back decades or to childhood. I knocked this story out in 5 minutes on a whim, and look at the result.
- "He's a jerk, hitting on her like a creep in a dive bar!" I wasn't happy about approaching the only open table with that particular woman; I'm not blind to the fact that she wasn't interested, but I also didn't want to sit on the floor. Once I saw her reaction, I made a split-second decision to turn the chair around and save us both the trouble of interacting. I figured I was matching her level.
- "He smiled at her and she didn't like it! Don't approach!" Had there been other seats available, I would have taken one.
- "He's got an attitude! He thinks he got revenge!" Not so much revenge, as compared to the other choice of letting her shoo me away to eat while leaning agains a wall, trying to balance my food & drink.
Edit 2:
It amazes me how this has become a thing. The point here, is that it's a quick story that is in PETTY revenge, something to not really be taken seriously. A minute in my life, bit that I wrote on a whim to fill a few minutes of time. She no doubt had her own reasons for what I thought was her rude behavior, and I had my own reasons for what I did in response, in a quick moment under not ideal circumstances. Was it petty? Of course! (gee, it matches the subreddit title... go figure). So far, I've been called a misogynist, a creep, a jerk, an idiot, and whatever else may be brewing behind the keyboards of people who perhaps, have their own issues to deal with, and are looking for a quick hit of dopamine as they mash keys.