u/Lazy_Part7100

My relationship with my mom has become really complicated, and I want outside perspectives because I can genuinely see both sides.

My mom is a good mother in many ways. She works extremely hard, handles most of the housework, and has always provided for us financially. She rarely said no to things I needed or wanted.

But emotionally, growing up was harder. She’s very snappy, yells a lot when stressed, and sometimes says hurtful things when angry. My sisters brush it off more easily, but I’ve always been sensitive, so it affected me deeply.

For most of my life, I was extremely emotionally dependent on her approval. Even if she technically allowed something, I’d stop doing it if I sensed disapproval from her. If we fought while I was out, it would ruin my entire mood.

About seven months ago, during an important exam period, she said something during an argument that became the last straw for me. I realized I couldn’t keep living so emotionally dependent on her reactions. Around the same time, I started working and became emotionally closer to someone else who supports me, which also helped me become more independent.

I also stopped feeling emotionally safe sharing things with her. When I told her a guy asked me for nudes, she blamed me for talking to him late at night. When I talked about a breakup, she implied it was probably my fault. If I complain about work, she gets irritated and says I should just be grateful I’m getting paid. Over time, I stopped sharing most personal things with her.

Recently, she told me she feels like I changed once I started earning money. She said it feels like I don’t need her anymore and that people from my generation stop caring about their parents once they become independent.

She’s not entirely wrong that I changed. I became less emotionally reactive because I couldn’t keep living in constant tension. But now she says I’m colder and more guarded. The irony is that I became guarded because being emotionally open used to hurt me.

I don’t think she’s intentionally manipulative. I think she genuinely feels hurt and rejected. But I also feel guilty for developing boundaries and emotional independence.

Has anyone dealt with something similar? A parent who genuinely loves and sacrifices for you, but also hurts you emotionally without fully realizing it?

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more like a vent, sar5at namla blhak, ama lwah tahki maaya ken you won't ask me on a date, lwah to5rej maaya ken you're not ready for anything serious, lwah you lead me on for months bech mbaad tfik li because of our "circumstances" we can't have a future

I just went back to the dating scene ba3d 3amin w mech 3arfa chbina walina haka

lbnet ken eni sayer fia wala par tout haka?

We’re both from the same country but he lives abroad now . We’ve known each other for 7 months and talk a lot. We’re very fond of each other, have strong chemistry, similar values, and he’s consistently kind to me. He helps me when I’m stressed, checks on me, supports my career...

Early on, he said he didn’t think we had a future because he doesn’t want to move back home, and he thought I wanted to stay in our country permanently because of my career. I clarified that I’m actually open to moving abroad if it made sense.

Recently we were discussing my career choice. I told him I want to choose something that pays well both here and abroad because I want options. He responded: “Why would you want to work abroad? You’d make insane money here.”

That comment hit me harder than it should have. It made me feel like he still doesn’t picture me in his future at all. If he did, wouldn’t it be obvious why I’d want a career path that gives me mobility?

He does care about me, but he never really takes concrete steps or speaks in terms of “us.” I can’t tell if he likes me but is being practical, or if I’m emotionally invested in someone who simply doesn’t see me long-term.

Am I overreading one comment, or is this the real issue showing itself?