u/Last-Fun-4596

Going back to my old therapist after she flipped over a boundary

So I have been having a spot of trouble and am thinking of coming out to my family (i think im 80 percent wlw). I contacted my old therapist and while I like her style I am a bit nervous now thast she's actually contacted me back to say she does have space available.

The reason I am nervous is because one time I emailed her after a session and she flipped out. For context in my email I simply wrote to say: i felt like you pushed me really hard and i felt cornered, and shut down so bad I couldn't say anything. Next session could we please have more equal footing.

I had emailed her before.

She then told me her clients are not allowed to email her-and not in between sessions just ever. And why hadn't I read the agreement and so on. But that was not actually in the agreement. It felt almost accusatory. I wish I could share the email but it wasn't a simple-hey, thanks for the email. Could you table this for next session? I have a standing rule that clients don't email me between sessions. It felt loaded.

I did apologise regardless. But now some of these things are coming up as i get closer to the day of making my appointment (i'm paying out of pocket so I have to pull from my freelance earnings and chase payments first).

The general dynamic I felt was that I was responsible, even beyond this incident, for not crossing boundaries I didn't know. I did share I had transferrence and i suspect that shifted the dynamic?But in hindsight it almost felt like she didn't want me to feel transference, and i started policing my own feelings. Yes, it's a pattern from childhood. I am the adult child of an alcoholic so I often used to try and attune myself to other's emotions or like manage other people's feelings.

I'd love to hear from therapists but anyone with a similar experinece or not or just in therapy I'd appreciate hearing from you too.

I will go back to therapy though. I have made a lot of progress on my own. But like I said I am about to undertake a major disclousre quite late in my life and I feel therapy would support me.

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u/Last-Fun-4596 — 1 day ago

Which universties are considered diploma mills in Canada?

Hi. This is probably going to be a controversial question but I am an international trying to AVOID getting scammed and told my graduate degree (Master's) is useless. Are there any recognizble but scammy diploma mill univesrities. My applications for 2027 are:

  1. McGill

  2. York

  3. University of Western Ontario

  4. Brock

5.Toronto Metropolitan University

  1. Lakehead

  2. Carleton University

  3. Ottawa

I know these are mostly not the most prestigious but they house supervisors matched to my topic/theoretical approach for Social Sciences. Yes. I know U of T as well but, while I compettive, I am not that compettive as an applicant or scholar. I've met /know one or two people there and it seems to take not just GPA perfection but a certain type. lol.

I would be grateful for any input. If you want to give me your experience as an MA student at any of these places from either an intellectual or social perspective (or both) please do as well. :)

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u/Last-Fun-4596 — 3 days ago
▲ 2 r/Zambia

Canada Study Permit

Hey you all. I hope this doesn't get taken down as my account is new.

I just wanted to ask what your guys experience of applying for grad school in Canada with Zambian passport was. I do have green book for SA too but I know what matters is passport.

I am not necessarily looking for a route to Canadian PR. Genuinely interested in Research and maybe the upside of more exposure.

My main goal is to get a solid international qualification, and I'm child free so why not do it while getting international experience? Also my research interest is pretty niche on the continent in social sciences but common in Canada. Not so niche I couldn't make a career in SA if I went back to academia but niche enough.

So with that out of the way- yes I have checked ICCR so I know the literal requirements but I'd like to hear more of the lived realities of getting a permit. The unstated rules. Things that took you from reject to accept.

Thank you so much.🥹💖

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u/Last-Fun-4596 — 3 days ago

I'm curious about your coming out stories-both the good (people who supported you, positive surprises) and bad. Also if you haven't come out do you ever plan to? I suspect most of us are late bloomers even just in coming out to ourselves but please share your story otherwise (without giving away too much info if it is not safe to do so).

I'm in my 30s and personally on the verge. But I'm also not interested in marriage-which makes it feel in my cultural context an unecessary thing to do-in part. Even when I was convinced I was strongly straight or bi (I think I sitll might be heterosexual but just not heteromantic to be honest) I just never brought those men around. I'm really obsessed with my work. I also don't know that I feel coming out will do anything for me. I've never really felt I was hiding to be honest. There was a time I was almost outed and I didn't even fight it. I feel like a sex scandal would embarass me but a rumor. In fact I have had my sibling ask (in a supportive way)-at least three times now and sister in law. But it was just never in me.

I am curious to hear from older lesbians especially (past your 40s) and what kind of life you've had. If you came out how it was for you. If you never have whether you are happy.

In my ideal life I have a partner whom cares about me, but still have my full independence (and travel). But I think very few women would be okay with never having the white picket fence and familly acceptance. My hope is a long academic/creative career where I get to see the world or continue getting to see the world and meet lots of interesting people.

I may come out also just to be clear-I just want to make sure I know what I want from it and I'm not doing it because "that's what you do". Increasingly I also see that I would probably just be breaking a glass closet than coming out of it. LOL.

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u/Last-Fun-4596 — 8 days ago

Hi everyone. I am a potential internaional student looking to do my Master's in the Social Sciences. I have an undergraduate degree in the social sciences and some master's. Took a long break because of political and social happenings on the campus that meant most of the professors who work with my topic left half-way through. I am kind of avoiding that happening again so looking for a stable environment. Don't get me wrong my uni was good and to most academics in social sciences including in the "GN " recognizable (I don't want to give away info on myself but I will say that)- but it's a little bit chaotic and all the best profs and potential supervisors are now at more prestigious GN school.

To give you a vague idea of where I'm taking things research-wise I'm interested in education policy and critical theories and methods. If we DM i am happy to get more specific tho.

My GPA only just meets the requirements so I am not even trying to hit places like U of T. Maybe I will apply to one "reach" school. But I am looking for realistic schools or almost realistic schools.

In a dream world I go into my Phd but I don't want to rush that.

Serious helpful answers only please. And preferrably from people in the social sciences. I am also not a PGW farmer.lol. If that happens and it's genuine I'll be happy but I'm someone who can live anywhere. I just know I need in-person at a stable institution.

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u/Last-Fun-4596 — 9 days ago