I’d really appreciate some honest perspectives from other Muslim sisters because I’m struggling with something in my marriage.

My husband goes to a gym that has a swimming pool, sauna, steam room, etc. As a Muslim woman, I feel really uncomfortable with him using mixed facilities where people are dressed in swimsuits or are half-naked. To me, it just doesn’t sit right Islamically and it makes me uneasy.

For context, we both already go to a mixed gym for things like weights and cardio, and I’m okay with that. But to me, things like the swimming pool, sauna, and steam room feel like a step further in terms of exposure, and I feel like it’s reasonable to have boundaries even within a mixed environment.

We first had this conversation yesterday where I said I wasn’t okay with it. He brought it up again today, and to be fair, it started as a calm conversation. During that conversation, I tried to compromise and said I’d be okay with him using the pool only if there were no women there — and that if a woman came in or came near the pool, he would leave. That was my attempt at meeting halfway.

However, after that, I felt like he stopped listening and kept trying to prove his point rather than understand mine. It started to feel like it was turning into another argument instead of a discussion, so I said I couldn’t continue the conversation and walked away.

Now he feels that me walking away was disrespectful.

What’s upsetting me more is the pattern: whenever I express discomfort about something, it turns into a debate, I end up compromising, and then I still feel like I’m in the wrong.

I guess my questions are:
- Am I being unreasonable for feeling uncomfortable with this?
- Is this something I should just accept living in a Western country?
- Was it wrong of me to walk away when I felt the conversation wasn’t going anywhere?
- How do you deal with differences like this in a marriage without it turning into constant arguments?

I’m not trying to control him, but I also don’t feel like my feelings are being respected.

JazakAllah khair 🤍

I’d really appreciate some honest perspectives from other because I’m struggling with something in my marriage.

My husband goes to a gym that has a swimming pool, sauna, steam room, etc. As a Muslim woman, I feel really uncomfortable with him using mixed facilities where people are dressed in swimsuits or are half-naked. To me, it just doesn’t sit right Islamically and it makes me uneasy.

For context, we both already go to a mixed gym for things like weights and cardio, and I’m okay with that. But to me, things like the swimming pool, sauna, and steam room feel like a step further in terms of exposure, and I feel like it’s reasonable to have boundaries even within a mixed environment.

We first had this conversation yesterday where I said I wasn’t okay with it. He brought it up again today, and to be fair, it started as a calm conversation. During that conversation, I tried to compromise and said I’d be okay with him using the pool only if there were no women there — and that if a woman came in or came near the pool, he would leave. That was my attempt at meeting halfway.

However, after that, I felt like he stopped listening and kept trying to prove his point rather than understand mine. It started to feel like it was turning into another argument instead of a discussion, so I said I couldn’t continue the conversation and walked away and walked to my mums and he has gone to his.

Now he feels that me walking away was disrespectful.

What’s upsetting me more is the pattern: whenever I express discomfort about something, it turns into a debate, I end up compromising, and then I still feel like I’m in the wrong.

I guess my questions are:
- Am I being unreasonable for feeling uncomfortable with this?
- Is this something I should just accept living in a Western country?
- Was it wrong of me to walk away when I felt the conversation wasn’t going anywhere?
- How do you deal with differences like this in a marriage without it turning into constant arguments?

I’m not trying to control him, but I also don’t feel like my feelings are being respected.

JazakAllah khair

I was wondering how others were interpreting this song?
Because whilst I LOVE it, I feel like I’m missing some deep meaning, could be it doesn’t resonate to any of my personal experiences..?

After seeing people’s lists and how different everyone’s is, thought it’s make one of my own…

Would also add, I love every single one of these and the bottoms ones are still loved and on rotation!!

1. Doors “I’m left staring at the ceiling, listing reasons you should pack all your shit up”

2. Downfall “that you open up to someone kind, and they hold it all against you”

3. We go way back “ our here I can hear your heartbeat, I can hear the start of a long sigh”

4. The great divide “ so I tried to read the thoughts that you’d worked overtime to stop”

5. American cars “ he’s been sitting on the porch, oh ranting like a prophet”

6. Willing and able “ and I wrestle with the feeling you’re still thinking about that”

7. End of August “ and I tried getting sober, I swear I did it better this time”

**8. Dan “**don’t the sky look pretty up here”

9. Haircut “ help me if it helps you leave”

10. Dashboard “ leave the pain you can’t solve with the folks you let down”

11. All them horses “ they did not look scared at all”

12. Lighthouse “ but you had something misplaced that you’d spend your life tryna find”

13. Orbiter “ if I’m gonna lose you either way”

14. Porch light “ you act like we just sit up here and wait for you to reappear “

15. Paid time off “someone once told us there’s a world out there, but we don’t care enough to drive that far”

16. Headed north “ and it’s gone to shit without you, it was shit before but at least I had you “

17. A few of your own “ picture frame in your bedroom, of the one man tha left you”

18. Deny deny deny “I wanna see you lose it, I wanna hear you say it”

19. Staying still “ I’m racking my brain for the one line would change your mind”

20. 23 “ cause if I never see you again, you can be anything I want”

21. Spoiled “ so they can fuck up all they want and blame it all on their dad”

What song / songs do you think don’t get enough praise?

For me it has to be Halloween!

I never see people talking about this one

Hey, please recommend any horrors you think could appeal to me based of the lat of some of my favourites.

If on prime / shudder, even better!!!

Thanks

Hell house LLC

Hell house Carmichael manor

It follows

The borderlands

As above so below

Undertone

Black phone

The crazies

Skinamarink

Sinister 1

Gonjijam haunted asylum

Late night with the devil

Insidious

The conjuring

Vivarium

Mother

Heretic

The last shift

The taking of Deborah Logan

Autopsy of Jane doe

Edit: should add disclaimer that I don’t like evil dead AT ALL or comedy horror :)