Update: Boyfriend says sex is a chore
I, 23 female, my boyfriend 32 male. Dating for 3 1/2 years. I recently posted about him feeling like sex is a chore because I take too long to finish/ to give oral to. We haven’t had sex in over a year. I’ve tried to talk to him about it and he says that 99% of the time he doesn’t feel like it or is too busy and the other 1% he is tired. I’m feel like now it is a dopamine addiction. Why I am saying this is because he said he will try to make time and he hasn’t so I will try to make a move and the only time he lets me get him hard and one time let me give him oral is while he playing a video game or on his phone. and last night I was touching him while he was playing a video games and he said I could hop on it but wouldn’t get off his game to actually be in the moment with me. When I said never mind I won’t do this while he’s on his games he just gave me a look saying “suit yourself” I tried to talk about it to him and he just said I knew you were upset with me and walked away. Is this childish or am I the asshole? Am I asking too much or over stepping? I don’t want sex to be a make-or-break but I really feel unimportant and unwanted. Otherwise our relationship is pretty good. How can I talk to him about this and set boundaries? Is this something anyone else has been through and work through it? Thank you.
TL;DR: how to help my bf get over dopamine addition to screens and sex and associating the two. Haven’t had sex in a year and bf finally will let me touch him while playing video games only.