u/LS1QT

My boyfriend and I took 3 weeks off work because our mental health was getting really We were supposed to return today, but he took another week without telling me.

When I confronted him, he said he needs space because when I’m around, he feels like he has to focus on me before himself, leaving no room to work on his own mental health. He said he just wants these next 4 days to himself.

I’m trying not to take it personally but now I’m anxious it could mean he’s pulling away from the relationship. TL;DR

My boyfriend has been mentally struggling for a while and I genuinely don't know how to help him anymore. I've been wondering if maybe he's going through some kind of quarter life crisis, depression, burnout, or just feeling lost in life.

Lately he seems emotionally disconnected from everything.
He spends a lot of time scrolling YouTube/Facebook reels, especially first thing in the morning, and it feels like he's constantly trying to distract or numb himself instead of being present. He still functions day to day, but emotionally he feels checked out sometimes.

I've also noticed I'm starting to feel emotionally exhausted in the relationship. I love him, but being around him can overstimulate me really fast now because it feels like I'm carrying all the emotional awareness and effort. Sometimes it feels more like roommates than partners. I miss affection, emotional presence, quality time, and just feeling connected.

The hard part is I can tell he's struggling internally, but he also doesn't really seem motivated to help himself either. I don't know if he's overwhelmed, lost, depressed, emotionally avoidant, or what.

For people who have gone through this personally or had a partner go through it:

What helped?
How do you support someone without draining yourself completely?

Is there a point where helping turns into enabling?

I really care about him and don't want to give up on him, but I also don't know how long a relationship can survive when one person feels emotionally absent.