u/Key-Magazine-9500

things have been off for a while. i spent months in my head trying to figure out what she was doing wrong, what the problem was, what needed to change.

eventually i flipped it. what if the thing i could actually control was myself?

started small. how i come home. whether i put my phone down. how i handle it when she seems distant instead of taking it personally.

nothing is fixed. but something feels slightly less stuck.

has anyone else taken this approach? did working on your own behavior actually shift anything, or did it just feel productive without doing much?

TL;DR: shifted focus from analyzing my partner to working on my own behavior. wondering if it actually moves anything or just delays the harder conversation.

been in this long enough to know that waiting doesn't work. and pushing doesn't work either.

so i tried something different. stopped keeping score. stopped tracking who initiated last. started just... showing up differently. not with an agenda. just present.

don't have a success story. just a slightly different feeling in the house. thought someone here might get it.