I’m not sure what I should do at this point.
So I am a 25M married to a 26F we have been married for 2 years and been together for 8, we have 2 kids together. our whole time together has been nothing but a spiraling shit show, me and her never get along,never have. Never communicate with eachother and hold grudges. Well me and her both would always call each other names, Horrible names. Names I cannot put on here. But I’ve gotten to the point to where I’ve pleaded to go to therapy so we can show our kids the love we haven’t been showing them. She says she can’t speak to someone she’s uncomfortable with. Which I can get that I can understand but it’s for the children. I’ve even asked her “ even if it’s for the children?” And she says she can’t. I keep constantly bringing it up and she resorts to insulting me because of my autism. She’ll bring up my family and call them very hurtful words and also says that I only want therapy because my parents tell us we should do it. But I won’t lie when she insults my parents and siblings I lash out and say some hurtful stuff back. And she says Atleast her parents didn’t leave her and move to TN which then just causes me to walk off because that did cut deep my whole family moved to TN and I feel resentful for it and hurt. And I have called her a bitch and such which I know I shouldn’t no matter if the person accused is being such because it’s very disrespectful.
But anyhow, all of this has gotten worse ever since the day she let her brother 21M move in with us because she never talked with me about before he moved in, there was no talking about it and considering it as a married couple should. I am in a financial struggle due to him moving in, he eats the food I buy and causes our utility bills to raise (electricity and such) and doesn’t help with anything. Even tho he’s agreed to it..I’ve come to her to talk about it an talk about how it makes me feel (because I can’t go to him because he works different shifts than me, we have the same off days but he leaves and avoids coming back until 3-4 in the morning) and she lashes out and says her name is on the lease too and she didn’t have to come to me and discuss it because of that very reason. I’m trying to not lose my mind and throw his shit out but it’s getting extremely hard and whenever I tell her I’m going to tell him to leave she either says “then you are kicking me and the kids out too then you piece of shit” or she’ll say “ if you kick him out and it causes my family to hate me, I’ll hate you “ but I am considering divorce and I’m considering leaving the environment but I’m scared for my kids because I know with the bills all behind if I leave I’ll feel as if I’m failing my kids. And if I divorce she won’t move out she already said it because the kids are in school here and her family lives an hr away and she doesn’t wanna move there and I know for a fact I wouldn’t get full custody because my state is a mother state
Tl;dr I’m caught in between a rock and a hard place and not sure what I should do without feeling as if I’m failing my kids