Im tired of living here
Cross posting here, first time using this site. ySorry if this is incoherent im not in a good headspace. I live with my grandmother after snapping after years of abuse from my mother, who had custody of me after divorce. I cant take living here anymore either its starting to drive me crazy. My mom called my grandmother asking about me. I have her blocked. I also have my dad blocked. Both of them put their hands on me in the exact same way as a teenager. They choked me to the ground. My grandmother is an enabler. I feel scared my mom is going to put her hands on me again. Its been years since shes last done that. But im so scared i dont know what to do. Im tired of feeling restless and having to grey-rock constantly. im disabled and jobless and depressed and its hard for me to even fathom a job right now. Ive applied for Section 8 and im just waiting for my time to come. I randomly got hit with this sinking feeling that my mom is going to punish me for blocking her. And my dad keeps showing up in my call history despite him being blocked.
Im so tired and scared. Im an adult but I feel so helpless. Idk what to do anymore.