u/Justiceleeg

I hurt myself this weekend. Specifically I hurt my knee. And all of this happened after such a good week. I've been exercising and doing my PT. I should say that before my knee hurt it developed a quite audible knock. Not a click but a knock. Now I've always usually sometimes taken care of myself. I'm as fit as I've ever been. Which is to say I was a fat kid and thinned out during puberty and have been riding an ever so steadily inclining plateau since then. Until now.

I hurt myself this weekend. My body is starting to age and remind me of time's inexorability. My hands are developing sun spots. My smile lines are more pronounced. I take a pill so my hair doesn't recede. (But I can touch my toes! and still be generally athletic). But I no longer care to understand young slang. "6 7" Mentally I'm closer to 67. I'm as much of a curmudgeon as always. My physical form is becoming a reflection of my mental one.

I hurt myself this weekend. Aging should be a triumph over time. I like to think I wear my scars with pride. When I was young I broke my eye socket on a table, but only found out after the chubby cheeks of youth receded. I got a scar on my forehead when I wiped out on a skateboard (ok it wasn't a skateboard but a OneWheel, and I wasn't a kid I was an adult commuting to work - not cute at all). I relish these adornments on my skin - companions to my tattoos - but aging feels different. Aging feels like the closing and it's tells like the announcement of last call. There's a whole anxiety there. Sure.

I still have hopes and dreams. Travel. Enterprise. Master of Industry. I'm working towards them. I am well-adjusted - mostly. These are mostly nighttime thoughts. Quiet thoughts on the edge of my periphery. But real too.

To the r4r part of this: I'm looking for a kindred spirit. A soul in pair to mine. I'm not looking for connection to drive meaning but to inspire it. I don't mean to make this a whole production. I'm seeking a mind to bounce ideas off of. Someone open minded. Non traditional. Intentional in the way they move through the world. Observant and curious. I'd like something lasting - a permanent fixture. Something intimate and rich. They say a man truly dies the last time he is remembered. And I just want to be remembered by you. Agh there I go making it a production. I just want someone - even if it's just to talk about our days and the shape of life.