I (f 31) have been married to my husband (m 31) almost 8 years. I could always tell something was off but we never actually talked about it. For example, 85% of the time, he is an amazing partner. He is my best friend and closest confident. We can spend days and days together and never tier of each other's company. But then, when tension builds, and a fight breaks out, he becomes a completely different person. He will call me stupid and weak, he will scream and cuss at me if I dare interupt him, he will belittle me however he can and then go back to being my best friend.
This went on for a few years until about a year ago we finally talked about it and he admited he is pretty sure he is apsychopath. We were finally able to discuss his behavior and while it was a relief to put a name on it (and to be honest, take some of the weight off me), he still reacts this way when we fight. Recently, we are preparing to move and have been looking at various options. It has become clear we want different things and when i try to voice my concerns we start fighting again, leading to him belittling me. I've found myself doing anything I can to avoid fighting, but at the same time I dont want to live somewhere I will be unhappy.
I guess I am looking to see who else might be in a similar situation regarding a partner who is a psychopath and some ideas on how to navigate this. I love him and as i said we are best friends 85% of the time. But when we fight, and he acts like that, i feel like i have no one to turn to.