How can I turn crush into real relationship?
Hi reddit.
I (17M, almsot 18) have a hard crush on my coworker (18F) at my part time job.
We both work in private robotics and programming school - me as a teacher(assistant) and she as a manager. But we are on the same level of hierarchy, so we are cool. She joined our team about month and a half ago, and oh boy was that interesting time for me.
At first, I haven't realised what I was feeling, I was just feeling good. Really good around her. For the record, I was in bad depression from the stressful first semester at college. Like the one when you just want to dissappear from the world. But as we met more and more on the lesson breaks, I started feeling... light. Happy even. To be honest, I forgotI had depression. I was giggling around her, smiling, but at the same time feeling nervous. Though the last is probably me just being shy person and all. And finally, after two weeks, lying in bed and thinking about her, I realised I got my first crush in my life.
She is beautiful, atleast in my eyes but that totaly enough, kind, funny and sweet. Of course butterflies started flying inside and chest was filling with warmth each time I thought about her. It is pretty intense, cause I'm thinking about her a lot. Like, A LOT. So much I'd lay until 4am sometimes, starring at the ceiling, replaying each interaction with her, like how she looked at me or giggled from my joke, and smiling to myself. But the best part is... she doesn't have a boyfriend yet).
I got her Telegram few days ago from my coworker friend (who is a long friend of hers and invited her to us). So, after convincing myself to text her, I asked her out yesturday. I didn't confess, I suggested to simply meet on the weekend somewhere and chat or spend time. She replied "I'd love to, but you know I'm busy working without weekends.". And it's truth, she has two part time jobs and education of course. As person in the same situation, I totaly get it. And she did add she'll write when she'll have time. Though I can't decide whether it was her way to politely decline or she just actually busy, but hope is still there!
My dilema is next: am I doing the right thing? I mean, I think I do, but that's not always the truth of course. I just worry that my "love" comes from this weird coincidence of me being in depression before she showed up or maybe just teenage hormone's stuff or probably both. I'm ready for rejection (I think?). But if she will agree, I just don't want to hurt her because of my rushed actions. I'm just that kind of person that cares about everyone, and especially her. I want her to be happy, but I also want her to be happy beside me... It's kinda selfish, but guess that just how it is.
So, to sum up, if she'll agree to a "date", should I try to make friends with her first and get to know her or be direct about my feelings? I just don't want to scare her off, that's all.
Also, sorry if I'm jumping all over the place, tried to structurize as much as I could. And I suspect even though I wrote everything as objectively as I could, some things might have gone through that pink filter of mine)
Would really appreciate to hear your advices and opinions!