u/Intrepid_Emu4649

I’m in 9th grade in an all-girls school and I genuinely need outside opinions because this entire situation is emotionally exhausting me.

I’ll use fake names:

• Me = A
• My best friend = B
• My other friend = C

I’ve been in this school since 4th grade. Around 7th–8th grade, people started thinking me and my friends were “snitches” because teachers would somehow find out about students bringing phones to class and other things. We never actually told on people, but they assumed we did.

This year there was a situation where some girls fought and splashed water everywhere. Me and my friends were nearby and our bags/friend got soaked. We originally thought of telling the stage director, but one of the girls told us her friend was crying, so we decided not to. OTHER people ended up reporting it anyway and the girls got suspended.

After that, things became tense. One of the suspended girls intentionally stepped on my friend’s foot and laughed about it to her friends without apologizing. Then there were other petty things like gum stuck to desks, ignoring, etc.

Now the main issue:

A girl accidentally opened WhatsApp on the smart board in class and I saw a group chat called something like “the class except A, B, and C.” So basically the entire class had a GC without us.

I know this sounds childish and logically I KNOW it is childish, but I cried when I found out. I genuinely think making secret hate groups is cowardly behavior, but it still hurt so badly.

Some girls apologized privately. Most acted completely normal afterward like nothing happened. Meanwhile I couldn’t even go to school the next day because imagining walking into class and seeing everyone after knowing they had a whole GC talking about us made me feel sick.

Then I found out that most of the hate was actually directed toward B. Apparently, some people dislike me too, but a lot of them strongly dislike HER specifically.

The reasons seem to be:

• they think she tells teachers things
• she actually DID tell the stage director about the group existing
• she has a very blunt/rude attitude sometimes
• she can come across harsh even if she doesn’t mean to

And honestly? I understand WHY they get annoyed sometimes because even I get hurt by her behavior occasionally. When she doesn’t want to say something or do something, she becomes very defensive and rude instead of communicating normally.

But at the same time, she’s also one of the closest people in my life. We’ve been best friends for about 4.5 years. We have dreams together about university, majors, families, everything. She understands me from one glance sometimes.

The problem is trust.

Years ago, people talked badly about me and she knew everything but refused to tell me for YEARS even when I begged her. She only told me recently and not even accurately. I never fully forgot that.

Now in this current situation, another friend sent screenshots/messages from the GC to B. I already secretly saw all of the messages through someone else, but B didn’t know that. I wanted her to send them to me anyway because her refusing and acting secretive triggered all those old feelings again.

We ended up arguing because she kept saying:
“These are about me, not you.”

Meanwhile I kept feeling:
“Why are you hiding things from me again?”

I also honestly suspect she may feel jealous/insecure because some people in the GC said I’m “better off without them”and that I shouldn’t be friends with B and C,

(she didn't see this)

while most of the actual hatred was directed toward her. the only messages she received about me were of that girl who likes me and not them

At the same time, I’m scared she blocked some messages because she might actually go confront people or tell teachers and make them hate her even more.

I genuinely don’t know what to think anymore because:

• I love her deeply
• I trust her emotionally
• but when it comes to information/conflict/transparency, I suddenly DON’T trust her

And now I’m questioning everything:

• Am I overreacting emotionally?
• Is she being defensive because she’s hurt?
• Am I secretly resentful over old situations?
• Is this friendship unhealthy or just complicated?
• Is it normal for something “small” like a group chat exclusion to hurt this much?

I genuinely want honest, blunt opinions.

I’ve been wearing hijab since I was 9 and a half, and now I’m 15, so it’s been around 5 and a half years. I even started wearing it before it became obligatory for me.

The thing is, lately I’ve really been struggling with it. I genuinely believe hijab is obligatory in Islam, so this isn’t about me thinking it’s wrong or anything. But I honestly feel much prettier and more confident without it.

Recently I went to an all-girls birthday party without my hijab, and I felt so confident. My hair made me feel prettier, my outfit looked better, and I didn’t have to constantly think about dressing modestly or hiding my body shape. I just felt free and feminine in a way I don’t usually feel outside.

I know you can still look pretty with hijab, but for me personally, I feel much more attractive without it, and that feeling is making me really want to take it off.

At the same time, I’m scared of people’s reactions if I do. My parents would probably be disappointed, even if they wouldn’t hurt me or anything. I think I’d see it in their faces and that hurts to think about. Some of my friends probably wouldn’t care, but others would definitely judge me or question me. I’m also worried about school and how teachers or male teachers would look at me after suddenly seeing me without hijab.

Another thing is that I already struggle with praying. Sometimes I even go days without praying once, and that makes me feel even worse and more guilty about all of this. Part of me feels like if I’m already struggling with salah, what kind of person would I be if I took off hijab too?

I feel really conflicted because I do believe in Islam and I do believe hijab is obligatory, but I also feel unhappy and emotionally exhausted thinking about all this. Has anyone else gone through this?

I’ve been wearing hijab since I was 9 and a half, and now I’m 15, so it’s been around 5 and a half years. I even started wearing it before it became obligatory for me.

The thing is, lately I’ve really been struggling with it. I genuinely believe hijab is obligatory in Islam, so this isn’t about me thinking it’s wrong or anything. But I honestly feel much prettier and more confident without it.

Recently I went to an all-girls birthday party without my hijab, and I felt so confident. My hair made me feel prettier, my outfit looked better, and I didn’t have to constantly think about dressing modestly or hiding my body shape. I just felt free and feminine in a way I don’t usually feel outside.

I know you can still look pretty with hijab, but for me personally, I feel much more attractive without it, and that feeling is making me really want to take it off.

At the same time, I’m scared of people’s reactions if I do. My parents would probably be disappointed, even if they wouldn’t hurt me or anything. I think I’d see it in their faces and that hurts to think about. Some of my friends probably wouldn’t care, but others would definitely judge me or question me. I’m also worried about school and how teachers or male teachers would look at me after suddenly seeing me without hijab.

Another thing is that I already struggle with praying. Sometimes I even go days without praying once, and that makes me feel even worse and more guilty about all of this. Part of me feels like if I’m already struggling with salah, what kind of person would I be if I took off hijab too?

I feel really conflicted because I do believe in Islam and I do believe hijab is obligatory, but I also feel unhappy and emotionally exhausted thinking about all this. Has anyone else gone through this?