u/Internal_Agent6234

Has anyone else felt pressure or like their bladder or whatever organ is lowest down there is heavy? It’s not painful and it goes away but it happened after my first outbreak (sores had disappeared) and I’m feeling it a little now.

It’s almost like a weight is in there/pulling down? I’ve also been having stomach issues, and I’m always worried it’s a UTI/yeast or something bc i can be prone to them, so I’ve been drinking a ton of water too…it’s hard to tell at the moment.

But yeah, has anyone else felt this?? No outbreak, again. Thank you! On acyclovir.

Hi, so I’m pretty sure I’ll have to disclose soon, and I certainly wasn’t planning on doing anything that would have led to that…but as the diagnosis and the past 3ish years have taught me, life is fucking insane lol.

Diagnosed recently (F32), HSV-1. 1 genital OB, on meds. I haven’t been with anyone since and wasn’t going to pursue a relationship or anything sexual for the foreseeable future. Or so I thought I guess.

But I met someone who I have an insane connection with (like a bomb went off in my life / time dilated when we kissed / wow we have the same brain in a lot of ways but are also different enough to keep it interesting / chemistry off the charts / overlapping interests / and he put his hand behind my head right before he pushed me up against the car to kiss me so I wouldn’t bang it level connection) and now I’m terrified.

How soon do I need to tell him? We might want to do intimate things soon, we might not, I don’t know - that’s the point. I want to be prepared but also - my thing is I don’t want to be accused of or ever thought as someone who would do like a bait and switch thing (not that this is or that HSV is to be ashamed up sorry I’m still struggling) or the idea that someone would say “you should have told me right away or I wouldn’t have been interested” or someone pulling away after that is really heartbreaking. I don’t want him to think I led him on or anything of that nature. Honestly? I want to take it slow and wait to do sexual things, but I also don’t believe in putting an artificial timeline on things. BUT I feel like I need to tell him now before things progress in order to be fair. BUT it’s also really personal info, ugh I don’t know.

How do I tell him? Do I lead with statistics? This many people in the US have HSV-1, here’s the chances of you getting it if I’m on antivirals and we use condoms, here’s the data you make a decision type thing? I want to do it in person, is that wrong? Text or phone call seems too impersonal and too much chance for miscommunication. What if I cry? What if he tells me I need to leave/he leaves (depends on the setting: oh shit, what about the setting? Car? Easy out for both parties?) it was so hard to deal with it myself, I can’t imagine telling someone else. I’ve only told one other person and I don’t think I even said it explicitly, he deduced it. I don’t know how to phrase it or even where to start dude. Maybe I should try and write it out or journal it, or is that weird?

Bottom line is, I know I’ll be ok if he pulls back (eventually, at first I’ll be a wreck). It’ll hurt, but I’ll be ok. Because I need to find someone who accepts that about me and is ok to take that risk to be with me. But…I understand the burden that must put on someone. So I really don’t know what’s going to happen. In any case, he was the best first date I’ve had in my life.

Diagnosed HSV-1 & have had one outbreak on genitals. I am currently on anti virals.

My question is (and correct me if my premise is wrong): if I’ve never had an oral outbreak in my life and do not currently have an oral outbreak/continue to not have an oral outbreak = does that mean I am unable to transmit HSV-1 via my saliva? I’ve been reading so much and have been receiving conflicting comments, so the bottom line is: it is unclear to me if it’s 100% impossible to transmit via saliva/kissing OR if it’s just like oral sex and intercourse, that there is always a chance even if there are no active sores, you’re in anti virals, and you use protection (the chance is mitigated but still). Ergo, if I kiss someone - considering all the above factors - do I have to disclose my status? (I say have to in the sense of I want to be a responsible adult).

Going further, is there anyone who’s had a similar situation as me? HSV-1 but not oral/never had an oral OB? Any tips on disclosure on that specific situation or just in general? Anyone know how likely asymptomatic shedding is if you’re on antivirals? Or is the likelihood of transmission if you take all the precautions around 1-3%? (From what I’ve read, happy to be corrected).

Thanks so much.

**Btw, I disclosed to a close guy friend when I was deep in my depression and he was an angel about it. Told me I still deserved love, gassed me up all that. When he suggested we meet up for coffee I told him I’d give him a book and a hug “as friends” and then he said, “maybe as more then friends” so folks, herpes can get you laid? I’m kidding, but I went from being suicidal to him basically propositioning me and the irony of it was crazy to me 😂. He texted me again today to make plans. (We have a history so I’m not going down that road again, but he’s such a great guy so literally a demonstration that someone with solid character will like you for you. He’s the type of dude that would give you the shirt of your back, help someone on the side of the road etc.).

Hey so here’s my issue: I’m a contractor and right now I work with two different clients - outlook AND Gmail. I need to be able to sync both my outlook and Gmail calendars.

I have three calendars I manage: personal (Gmail), client 1 (Gmail) and client 2 (outlook). Goal: I need all calendars to have all events for all calendars/emails so that no one schedules over each other & all the scheduling software and ATS systems can run efficiently.

Problems: outlook is “Private” because it is a work account and I can’t figure out how to share. Is it even possible to do this? I can’t share outlook calendar with Gmail and when I tried to add my Gmail to outlook, it just added a completely separate calendar and didn’t overlap the events/treat it like the same one (seriously outlook?). *I should add: outlook HAS TO HAVE GMAIL EVENTS POPULATED ON IT!! Since I will make meetings with my Gmail account/client that will affect the outlook account/client ability to schedule.

One mail/software that aggregates events won’t work beside it requests info from outlook and that requires approval from IT (I tried to add it today).

Can someone help/has anyone run into the same issues? Trying to avoid redundancy and don’t want to have to add an extra email to every invite or create duplicate invites after I create a meeting (that will slow down my workflow, I’ve already had to go back and make sure things aren’t overlapping a lot this week).

Do I need to just contact IT at the outlook client’s company?

*more details added below* Tonight I was so alarmed when I felt (TMI sorry) like a shooting vibrating feeling coming from my clitoris, like a pulsing sensation (nerve ending-y). Starting off strong and super alarming, it faded slowly, now gone. It wasn’t painful, it was almost similar to having electrode treatment type things I’ve done in physical therapy where they hook you up to the EKG or ultrasound whatever, wire you up, and then turn it on and make your muscles dance.

I looked online and it said it might be pelvic floor dysfunction? But someone said they had nerve issues so I’m scared of that as well? Diagnosed 1 week ago on acyclovir, hsv-1. Any help appreciated, thank you so much.

Hate that I have to reveal this intimate info and again sorry more TMI but it was after an orgasm (by myself). Added bc I thought it’ll be more accurate? I dunno man this sucks.

*edit: I’m seeing that recent hormonal changes can be a cause and I recently went off of hormonal birth control, so I hope maybe that’s why?

*EDIT THE NEXT MORNING: again I hate that I have to say this but woke up like almost?…physically turned on maybe? (horny is pretty much baseline normal for me, waking up feeling like that is not new, but I’m thinking nerve issues? Blood issues?). Every bump and brush feels more intense. Fuck I may need to delete this but it’s literally the only way I can accurately describe what I’m feeling.