mom is guilt tripping me about moving out
hi, i’m a 21 year old hispanic female! i recently graduated from nursing school and have been working at a hospital an hour away. i was originally going to move out so i can live in the same city as my job. however, i started dating my current boyfriend and he works north while i work more south. anyways, we signed a lease a week ago that lands us at an ideal middle point between both jobs. i am beyond excited to move out. here is the issue im having, my mom is crying, complaining, whining about me moving out. she’s telling me im selfish and stupid (because i’m renting and not getting a mortgage). i kept telling her that i can no longer do an hour long commute because it’s tiring. okay, i listened to her and tried so hard to stay home because i know im holding the home together.
as the eldest of 5, i know i am responsible for my sisters, the pets, my mom’s health, and myself. i am the only driver, has health literacy, who is able to translate, and sign documents. i’d be lying if i said im not tired. my mental health has gotten so bad to the point i had to go to the emergency room and started taking multiple psych meds. no one knows about my attempts and how miserable i am living. i have a small room to myself and i pay rent for it, pay some bills, and try helping out to lift the burden off my mom. it’s just that every time i come into my room, it is always so cluttered because of my hobbies. i can’t even do said hobbies due to the limited space of the room. i feel like a bird in a cage. i don’t know what to do or how to stop the guilt from getting to me. she keeps trying to stop me from moving out and it’s getting to me.
2 days ago my car broke down after getting home from a 12 hour shift. it wouldn’t start again because the starter was broken. it’s in the shop right now and hopefully gets fixed before my next shift. once i told my mom about my car breaking down, she hits me with “i told you to stay here and save for a car. now you have no car and have to pay rent. you’re so stupid”. i was so annoyed and didn’t need to feel like shit after being stressed about my car.
i just can’t wait to move out but i feel like an asshole leaving. i don’t know if they will be able to manage without me. i will be taking the cats with me though, i am not sure if they will be taken care of if im not there.
TLDR: mom is guilt tripping me and i’m rethinking about moving out.