u/InformationNew4994

Hey everyone. So I just started as a freight broker for a 3PL company is Tennessee. This is my first time in logistics, but have tons of experience in sales. I have been at this job for about a month now and am trying to figure out the best way to get actual qualified leads. I’ve mainly been using ChatGPT and Google Maps and focusing more on local or just in my region. I’ve put a big focus on Food Manufacturers/Industry. I landed my first very small customer this way via ChatGPT, but I need more. I’m running out of leads and just keep stumbling across the same ones I’ve already contacted. Are there any other services I could use? I’ve had one person tell me about Thomas.net but I wasn’t sure and wanted to see what other people say. Any helpful advice would be so greatly appreciated!

I went through my husbands phone and found where he had been texting with his ex girlfriend reminiscing about their relationship, times spent in the shower together, and he even mentioned that he often thinks about her naked body. He had mentioned that he felt no connection to me anymore as well. These texts went back and forth for maybe a day and a half. He had a phone call with her as well for maybe 10-15 minutes. Not sure what was said on the phone obviously. He says it’s not cheating. He agrees that what he did was wrong, but doesn’t consider it cheating. What do yall think? Bc im honestly confused now.

I keep going back and forth on whether I should be patient and see if my husband changes or stay and keep getting abuse every day. His emotions go from one extreme to another within seconds. He’s verbally attacked me calling me all the names in the book. He’s emotionally abused me by taking my deepest wounds and insecurities and using them against me in a fight in which destroys me. He’s very aggressive in the sense that when I don’t argue back or try to walk away from the conflict he will follow me and block the area so I can’t leave. He has yelled inches from my face and even pushed me to the ground. He has constantly criticizes me and puts me down. And most recently he cheated on me emotionally too. During an argument he’s unable to hold himself accountable and shifts all the blame onto me. He’s tries to pressure me or guilt trip me into doing things. And now he’s even talking negatively about my 12 year old daughter and telling me that “she’s a child she’s not allowed to have boundaries”. He tries to hurt me by talking negatively about my child because I respected her boundary bc she told me she does not want to see him anymore and feels unsafe around him. This is driving him crazy. He thinks that she should just “get over it”. But that’s not how you treat a child. And I will not have my child be forever scared or have trauma from shit this man has done to me. So on the weeks I get my daughter he has to leave the home. All of our mutual friends have chosen him and to call me “crazy”. Even my family has said the same thing. He’ll, he even teamed up with his ex wife to try to serve ME with a protective order to try to take MY house away from me (I purchased it before meeting him). He has threatened multiple times to make up lies about me so that my ex husband will take my daughter away from me. We even had our 1st marriage therapy appointment today. He, of course, stole the whole show. I got to talk for maybe 5 minutes. I used that 5 minutes to read a letter to him that I wrote. It was not an attacking letter. It was just me explaining all the ways I’ve been hurt. When we hung up the phone with the therapist he called me and chewed me out. He said I attacked him in the letter which I did not do. He constantly threatens to divorce me or leave the relationship. He just did it today when I read the letter. The PTSD honestly had my body in a completely dis regulated state. I don’t even know who I am anymore. And now I have developed a new trauma response when he’s yelling at me and trying to argue. I think it’s called fawning? It’s basically where you shrink yourself down to the lowest thing possible and lose your identity totally. I have just got to the point where I just listen, not. Just Beth simple things.

Sorry I rambled on there for a bit. He’s in therapy and we are in marriage therapy. I am also in individual therapy. I’m just worried that I’m wasting my time. He couldn’t even remain calm at therapy after I read my letter to him.

Also just very quickly - dealing with all this abuse has made me not trust ANYONE. Every single person I know has minimized my abuse and acted like “well huh must of done something to make him do that”.

I’m tired.
I just want some sleep with nightmares.

I thought he was abusive. But maybe it’s not? Maybe I’m overreacting. Maybe I remembered it wrong or took it the wrong way. I honestly don’t even know. Every person I know is on his side and says I’m the crazy one. So it must be true right? Like when I lost my job and he resented me for not having money - shouldn’t he have every right to since I was leaving all the finances up to him (which is pretty shitty of me)? The verbal and emotional attacks - I know I probably pressed his buttons. The things he said during those fights? They are absolutely true. I do give up too easily. I can’t hold down a job. I’m probably going to lose my current job because I don’t have enough skill set to keep it. I do question if my intellect js actually low because things have happened more and more. Without me being smart enough to handle it. He cheated because I honestly wasn’t being a good wife. I wasn’t giving him the attention he needed. He only shoved me to the ground because during a fight it got pretty escalated and I was pretty close to him and I know fighting back is not always the always. He controls the finances now that he came into some money and I’m making my own money. He has every right to protect his cash as I am irresponsible and will just continue to ask him to buy me things. Maybe all of my pain and suffering is being caused by my own actions. I don’t know what’s going to happen with him and I. If no one else believes me then why should I believe me? He should have never wasted his time on me. I don’t trust my own perception of reality anymore. I don’t trust any friends or family as they all say I am just as bad as he is. I just want to get better so I can be a better wife to my husband.