u/Impossible_Iron6188

Tw: I will be describing my self harm but hopefully not so in depth that mods will take this down.

I just relapsed and it was pretty bad. I did not cut as much as I have in the past but I guess I cut deeper because I was bleeding a ton. it wasn’t squirting or anything but when I was done my arm was covered in blood and I felt dizzy. I thought I had cut to the normal depth I usually do but I guess I was wrong? they have stopped bleeding but idk what to do for a possible next time.

I’m genuinely going through a mental health crisis and no one cares. I can’t get out of bed half of the time but I’m seen as lazy and like I’m wasting my time. I cry all the time and no one cares. I talk to my friends, my boyfriend, my family about how bad I’m feeling and all I get is “okay” or “just change your way of thinking”. I fantasize about cutting all the time and I can’t stay clean for shit. I hate this so much. I hate living this stupid life. the only thing keeping me here is the same thing making me want to leave.

I don’t really know what to do. I’m a senior in high school and I just had my last official day of high school and now I’m getting really bad self harm urges. I can’t do it tonight, I have a date tomorrow and it’s so hot out that I might die if I can’t roll my sleeves up. I don’t have anyone to talk to and maybe i don’t want anyone. I really don’t know how much longer I can do this