u/Impossible_Air744

i’m a 21 year old girl and ever since i graduated high school 3 years ago it feels like all the passion disappeared from my life. even studying. my whole life became going to classes, coming home, sleeping, then studying a few hours before exams. that’s literally it. no hobbies, no fun memories, no friendships, nothing exciting. sometimes i’d cook just because i wanted to feel something different for once. i even skipped lectures all the time because i had no energy for anything.

then this year everything started getting worse really fast. my anxiety got so bad and i started having panic attacks. i started hating studying and my grades dropped badly. . i made so many impulsive stupid decisions because i stopped caring about anything anymore but at the same time the anxiety keeps eating me alive every second.

all i do is sleep. sleep all day and wish i could stay asleep longer so i don’t have to deal with life. i tried making friends for years but everyone eventually distances themselves or ghosts me and now i push people away before they can do it first because i already expect it.

this whole year passed and i didn’t do a single enjoyable thing. nothing. i keep looking at people my age going out with friends, traveling, making memories, falling in love, living normally meanwhile i spend most of my time laying in bed sleeping, crying, overthinking and feeling disconnected from reality. i feel like i’m dreaming 24/7 and nothing around me feels real anymore.

every week or two i fall into a horrible depression where i cry constantly and start questioning what the point of my life even is. then maybe i feel okay for a day or two and everything crashes again. i even tried traveling because i thought maybe changing places would fix me somehow but i still spent most of the trip sleeping, crying, feeling lonely and empty.

nothing makes me feel happy anymore. not even the things i used to enjoy. i feel like i’m just a body walking around wasting oxygen. i don’t have motivation for anything, no excitement for anything, no energy for anything. i just want to sleep all the time.

i tried therapy and every therapist keeps saying the same things like sleep better, journal, walk more, talk to people, distract yourself and none of it helped. i feel like nobody understands what’s happening to me and not even therapists understand me. i don’t even want psychiatric medication because i already feel lost enough and i don’t know who i even am anymore.

i feel so lost and exhausted and i don’t know why life suddenly started feeling this empty.

This is so embarrassing to admit bc I’ve literally never talked to anyone irl about this stuff. but my kinks are kinda all over the place. Like praise kink, daddy stuff, aftercare, being called “good girl” and “proud of you” absolutely gets me. But the weirdest one is probably a scat kink 💀 not even in a super extreme way tho more like really light stuff. Idk why it’s attractive to me even stuff involving a guy’s ass turns me on and I genuinely don’t know where that came from and don’t wanna be interested in those things tbh

I’m stressing bc my clit and labia are kinda bigg and sometimes when masturbate and pull the hood back I see some white smegma stuff .. is that normal?? I’m super clean too like I wash after using the bathroom and shower at least once a day so idk why it still happens

Hey guys, I’ll be in Miami next week on a solo trip. I don’t really wanna be alone the whole time though. Do you have any advice?

I’d also love to meet people and go out

any tips on how to do that?

All my friends are leaving and I’m gonna be here alone. I still wanna go out and meet people and have a fun summer instead of just sitting at home.

Are there any clubs groups or events happening over the summer? Or like any ways to meet people here?

I’m down for anything tbh just don’t wanna be bored all summer lol