u/Impossible-Ask1612

I’ve been talking to this man from overseas the last two years. It’s been ups and downs but more downs. It’s come to a point last year, I wanted to end it to which my mother and grandmother told me this man would be the best I would ever get. Mind you, my mom was forced to marry my father and it resulted in a divorce and she had a gut feeling not to marry him. Of course, to satisfy my mom because she has control over me I stayed with him and tried making it work. At the same time, my mom supported the idea of keeping my options open since she noticed some of our values were different. Recently my health has been declining and im losing weight and im 80 pounds. We have no idea why. Im about to lose my job. He has helped me with my schoolwork and getting by my masters. But im constantly reminded and half the time i didn’t want help so it wouldn’t be used against me. Now, I met this Egyptian guy who lives close by me and we seem to have similar values and backgrounds and we click (but again,

I’ve been talking to this man from overseas the last two years. It’s been ups and downs but more downs. It’s come to a point last year, I wanted to end it to which my mother and grandmother told me this man would be the best I would ever get. Mind you, my mom was forced to marry my father and it resulted in a divorce and she had a gut feeling not to marry him. Of course, to satisfy my mom because she has control over me I stayed with him and tried making it work. At the same time, my mom supported the idea of keeping my options open since she noticed some of our values were different. Recently my health has been declining and im losing weight and im 80 pounds. We have no idea why. Im about to lose my job. He has helped me with my schoolwork and getting by my masters. But im constantly reminded and half the time i didn’t want help so it wouldn’t be used against me. Now, I met this Egyptian guy who lives close by me and we seem to have similar values and backgrounds and we click (but again, im not making anything official). I told my mom about him when we hung out once, but a couple days we hung out and she told me to keep trying with the kid she wants me marrying so i secretly met the Egyptian guy and we were making jokes and making westernized sexualized jokes and i get it wasn’t appropriate but she invaded my privacy by going on my phone… I just wanna say this, and i have no right to say this but prior to my mom getting married to my stepdad i also inappropriate messages while she was talking to others but i understand if shes worried and doesn’t want me repeating the same mistakes but instead of sitting with me calmly and correcting me like she does with my cousins, ill provide a screenshot of what she said. i moved out before at 18 and she threatened to never speak tome again and leave the country and she newley did it. my cousins moved out and their parents are waiting for them to figure life out and come back to them with open arms. I have no one but Allah and I don’t know what to do anymore. I was thinking of living in my car and surviving but i eventually wanna get married and no muslim man married a women who doesn’t speak to their parents but i love my parents i just don’t feel they love me the same way.
Mom said this: I am not involved in your life as of today and I mean it.
Alhamdoullilah I finish paying for your school and u are 22. U don't need to tell me anything about your plans. You can feel freedom.
But don't come back crying because I am not going to deal with your nonsense and disrespect.