u/Ill-Variety-3569

For the last 3 years, I (40F) have been in a long distance relationship with my bf (43M). It’s been hard seeing each other and it’s been about once every 2-3 weeks. I’ve met his kids but he hasn’t met mine. We have had conversations about how it’s hard and how by December I should be in a place where we can at least spend every weekend together and bring the kids together. He offered reassurance that he wouldn’t go anywhere, telling me he wanted me forever all the way up until the day before he broke up with me.

The breakup feels to have come out of the blue. There are some conversations we’ve had where I can understand where the distance could wear on him, but I am still upset that he didn’t communicate that he was unsatisfied or propose any other plan to change the way things were. I can accept and grieve that part of things. There is one part I can’t.

He has sworn to me over and over that he works alone and talks to no one. Now he suddenly has “a connection” to a 23 year old newly single girl at his work. He said he tried coaching her and her bf (m- unknown age- who also works with them) through a difficult point in their relationship until he and another supervisor realized it was toxic. He says this girl is someone he can confide in that also confided in him. He said he isn’t dating anyone but I also kind of feel like it’s a matter of time. The bf also unfollowed my bf on socials at one point which raised red flags. This girl is also aesthetically this type, but is two times closer to his children’s age than his.

I’m torn between feeling hurt, betrayed, sorry, disgusted, and angry. I can’t stop cycling through these emotions to think clearly enough to find a path forward. I can see things I’ve done that contributed to his feelings, but not having adult conversations with me about them and instead rubbing to an adolescent seems insane. How do I get past this? I feel like my assumptions are rational. Part of me wants him to come crawling back but idk what I’d do then either. I need cold hard truth.

TLDR: 43M seems to have left 40F for 23F- how do I move on?