u/Ignis000007

So I and my Bf, from the last 6 years are about to get married this year. It was cutesy and all but as the days are going by, all the inter-caste bakchodi is coming, “we do it like this, but yaa it is up to you guys” arey bhenchodh ya toh bolo ya mt bolo, ye kese acha banke aadha bol rahe ho???? And I really get it that my Bf is also trying to calm things down from his end, he is ready to fight, but being the only daughter of my family, mere ghar walo ko alag hi devta banna hai… ki koi nahi… I love this man so much, but Indian way of getting married is so so fucked, I am nepali(ethnicity wise) and he is from UP… the culture is so fucking flipped… UP has a certain way of doing things, men doing the final talk and shit and Being a Pahadi, we don’t fucking care…. We just communicate, Maa, Baap, bhai, bhen, everyone has same value.. ek ko bola sab ko bola… i hate this process so fucking much… and the worst part is my family is being way too chill about it.. and I am here sulking and boiling my blood and fighting with my bf.

Before anyone comes ki bhaiya the guy needs to take a stand, yes he is, he is fighting from his end, he is asking me and my family to do things the way we want and be clear about our liking but my family is being too okay with everything saying its okay its their culture. I really wish I could just skip to the wedding day..

I friend of mine has a bad past, her mother had schizophrenia and she has suffered a lot as a child. Now we are almost the same age and I empathise with her, truly like I really want her to get the best of her life. Now on the other hand she also has had bad relationships, and I cannot confirm it but I am sure she had depression. I am always there when she needs to vent out or to go her advice when she needs. But every time I ask her to do things that can be her healthy life and mind like yoga, exercise, journaling, or even take therapies. She gets on the boat, I plan out things so she doesn’t have to all by herself, she gets all in and then she just ditch it. Like a few days back she was in a very bad situation, and I ask my relative to share the therapist contact that she knows, that is also affordable. First have to ask her constantly to take an appointment then I follow up with her and on the day she cancels it(no the money was not the problem, she earns well), saying she is not really feeling it or is in that zone. And next day she goes out????????

Like I really reallly understand that mental health is not that easy. I myself have had panic attacks in the past and I know how pathetic and helpless you feel but I also know that its only YOU that can turn the table and no fucking else. But if you are just gonna let the situation be, then how can you cry about them later????

A part of me is feeling irritated that she always does this. And a part of me is again empathic that feels that it is okay. But I have decided not to push her. But then she hit me up with another situation or something who low she feels and I am back to square one and since I am an over-thinker I can’t help but think if she is ok or not.

Edit: pls bear with the grammatical errors.